This Man Got Arrested For Collecting Human Penises, Which You Have to Admit Is Cooler Than Postage Stamps

tom hanks

Here’s a story so messed up that the writers on Law and Order: SVU wouldn’t even dream of it: a 52-year-old man was arrested after he was discovered to have a large collection of severed penises in his home. Because why collect coins or stamps when you could keep dozens of dicks preserved in formaldehyde?

Police in the small Croatian town of Slavonski Brod arrested the man, known only as the Penis Collector earlier this week. Not much is known about the unnamed man, other than his clear passion for human anatomy, but he is alleged to have worked as a registered nurse at a city hospital, adding to his collection with parts from his deceased patients. In the grand scheme of things, I suppose this would be the silver lining in this story — at least he is not a deranged killer keeping mementos from his victims; he’s just a penile enthusiast with a great sense of dedication to his interests. A hospital spokesperson said that they were “unpleasantly surprised” by the news and offered its apologies to families of the recipients of the post-mortem castration.

According to Queerty, the man is now out on bail and awaits charges for disturbing the deceased, which carries a maximum sentence of two years in jail. I don’t have a penis, but in my opinion that seems like kind of a light punishment for someone who cut body parts off his patients to create some makeshift phallological exhibit in the back of his apartment. But I mean, at least it’s slightly more interesting than my useless collection of state quarters.

(Gif: Tumblr)

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    • Alana Vincenza

      Oh my goodness this is the creepiest. Dude, just nooooo.