Ever have a day where you just didn’t want to wake up? We’ve all been there—when work is hanging over our heads and the weather is too terrible to leave the apartment and you just want to stay in bed forever. For most of us, of course, staying in bed forever is not a feasible option. For Alan Knight of South Wales, it was a reality.
Knight, a con man that makes the cast of Gone Girl look like amateurs, actually faked a coma for two years to avoid going to court. Two. Years. That takes a serious amount of dedication and skill.
Knight reportedly told authorities that he was involved in a “garage door accident” that paralyzed him from the neck down and caused seizures that periodically put him in a coma. Um, okay. He used the quadriplegic story to live (illegally) off of benefits and spent his spare time conning his neighbor out of $65,000.
His doctors began to see the light and catch on to his game when they spotted the so-called patient eating, wiping his face, and writing. I would say “how dumb can you be?” but honestly, how did trained physicians not catch a case of pretend paralyzation a LOT sooner?
“In my entire career this is the most calculated, long-term deception of a vulnerable, elderly neighbour I have ever seen,” Detective Con Paul Harry, from South Wales Police, said in an interview.
Listen, if this guy fake unconsciousness for 24 months, I can reasonably fake a sick day the next time I just want to sleep in, right?