Okay, I admit it: The only reason I work out is so I can eat (and drink more) more.
Whether it’s a bagel after a 5k, or an entire Chipotle burrito after a ten mile run, I don’t go through all of that huffing and puffing and sweating for nothing. I want some kind of reward.
This kind of thinking isn’t unnatural to fitness enthusiasts — or people who only hit up the gym once a year. I guess that’s why Pepsi thought it would be okay to package their new Pepsi Light bottles like dumbbells.
While it’s funny to watch a strongman competition use a loaded keg for challenges, beer and exercise have a pretty symbiotic relationship — just like the post-race bagels I mentioned earlier.
Pepsi, on the other hand, isn’t quite on the same level. Which is precisely why their new design of a dumbbell-shaped bottle is leaving us slightly…confused. Are they trying to tell us that weightlifting can reverse the damage Pepsi causes to your insides? Is Pepsi suddenly a drink you’re expected to tow to the gym?
I’m going to go ahead and say, no — Pepsi isn’t rebranding itself as a fitness buff. To quote The Huffington Post, Pepsi has a slew of unhealthy attributes:
For those keeping score, regularly drinking “light” or diet sodas can lead to more belly fat, will make you more likely to eat other junk foods and increases the odds you’ll be overweight or obese, is associated with depression and wreaks havoc on your dental health.
Yeah, we’ll stick with our original diagnosis.
Whatever happens, please don’t gulp up this BS.