13 Ways to Make Your Boss Happy

In celebration of Friday the 13th, I have decided to give you exactly 13 ways to make your boss happy. Happy bosses give happier bonuses which is definitely a good way to break any bad luck you might be having.  Going to work is much more satisfying if you have a good relationship with your boss.  Being happy at work helps you come home happier and makes your family life better, too.

1. Do not be a yes man. Nobody respects a kiss up and constantly saying yes to anything the boss suggests is a sure way to convince him that you have no idea what you are really doing.
2. Do not be a no man. At the same time, sometimes your boss will have a good idea or at least an idea that really is not any worse than the way you want to do it. Let the boss win these battles without trying to steal his glory.
3. Push for attainable due dates. If you are asked to quote a project that will take exactly 40 hours if everything goes 100% perfectly with resources outside of your control, tell him that you want 50 because it will probably take 50 anyway. Be prepared to defend your quote with the dangers to the project that are lurking in the shadows.
4. Do not wait until the last second when there are problems. Bosses do not like last second suprises. One of the things bosses are supposed to do is help organize resources. If there is a problem on a project, let your boss know right away. Explain to him what your are doing to work through the situation and let him know if he needs to apply pressure to a coworker or outside customer. That is part of their job. Do not bring up every single little tiny obstacle but do not be afraid to use your bosses authority when you need to. If you establish this relationship, your boss will be much less likely to feel the need to micro-manage all of your projects.
5. Bring doughnuts for the team. Bosses love a harmonious team. Bosses love junk food as much as your average worker. Nothing shows your teamwork better than bringing a box of doughnuts once in a while. Feel free to substitute bagels or vegie trays if you work at a company that I am not working at. Cookies are a good alternative.
6. Do not participate in bosses day. This might be contraversial but I have talked to several bosses over the years and all have hated this “holiday.” They all felt uncomfortable getting a gift card or strange presents from people that they make more money than. They all wished that everybody would finally tell Hallmark that enough is enough.
7. Have a safe, quirky thing that is a conversation starter. Kids are the easy one but do not have kids just to meet this bullet point. There are easier ways. One of my quirky things is I am an Iowa Hawkeye and St. Louis Cardinal fan living around Illinois. My boss and I can always joke about how well or poor the teams are doing. Some other good quirks that I have seen over the years. Girl Scout leader. Small theater actor. Born in a foreign country. Some bad ones that I have not seen but am still convinced they are bad quirks to tell the boss about. Pole dancer at the gentleman’s club by the airport. Slum lord.
8. Speak up at meetings. The boss called you all together to talk. Then he tells you what is on his mind. Then he asks if anybody has anything to add. Nobody replies and you all go back to your desks. That is a bad meeting. In a good meeting, people ask questions, suggest improvements, mention places where similar projects were done. Meetings are supposed to be vocal exchanges between the team which will make the project plan stronger and make sure everybody understands the details.
9. Take charge of projects. Did you just have a meeting on a project that you can completely handle? Volunteer to take charge of it. Keep the boss informed about what is going on, but make sure it takes less time for your recaps then it would for him to just do the project. This is a great opportunity to convince management that you are ready for greater responsibiliies if you are interested in climbing the corporate ladder. Over a few month period, I went from new man on the team to team lead by following this tip.
10. Do not occasionally show up to work in a suit. If you like suits, feel free to wear them frequently. If you are not going to wear them at least once a week, do not just show up in one someday. Everybody will know you are interviewing. Change in a bathroom somewhere between work and your destination if you are interviewing or taking your wife to the opera. It will do wonders for your bosses heart.
11. Do not touch his monitor. He does not want to sit there staring at your greasy finger prints. That is a bad impression to make.
12. Solve one of his evil projects. Every boss has annoying, low priority projects that he never has time to take care of. Find out what they are and occasionally finish those projects when you have spare time. Your boss will love you and you will probably learn some new skills.
13. Email your team a link to this post. Show that you care about your team and are interested in building a stronger team by emailing the link to this post to everybody. If the whole team knew these fabulous tips, think about how happy you would all be.

Now, go get back to work. Stay away from ladders, black cats, and any project where they have not yet decided which software to use. That would be bad luck.