23 years of marriage

Please forgive my patently obvious self-congratulations here.

Yesterday was my 23rd wedding anniversary. We were married on October 5, 1985; I was 24, he was 30. He’s put up with my aches and pains, and not-so-nice temperament sometimes for 23 years and seems to be hanging in there for the long run. Yeah – and I’ve put up with him too. But that hasn’t been too hard. What’s striking is that when someone has chronic pain, it can be tough on a relationship. I have nowhere the amount of pain as most of my visitors here – but I have enough that it can affect what I do and how I do it from time to time. And it can’t be easy for a spouse to hear yet again "I have another migraine," or complaints about my back pain or joint pain.

I was lucky enough to marry not only a man I fell in love with, but a good man. He loves his children with all his heart and soul and would do anything for them. He talks to his mother regularly and would drop anything in a moment if she needed him. When his dad died a few years ago, he and his siblings took turns staying with him all day, every day, so he’d never be alone.

If our children need him – he’s there. It could be 2 in the morning, but if they need their dad, he’s there. Right now, we’re in the middle of fixing up our house (painting and minor renovations) so we can put it up for sale, but when I told him that our oldest was painting his place this weekend, my husband called him to tell him that he’d be by this coming weekend to help. This is so foreign and so different to how I grew up that it took me a while to understand that this is how parents are. This is love.

So, a day-late toast to my husband. Happy Anniversary.

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Image: MorgueFile.com

Tags: chronic pain blog, pain blog, chronic pain, migraine, back pain, joint pain, anniversary