4 Tips for Long Distance Relationships

I don’t know if you’ve ever been involved in a long distance relationship, but if you have, then you will know what I mean when I say that they don’t follow the same time table as dating somebody local does.

The distance forces you to question the attraction, the relationship, and where you see it going very early on. It’s expensive to travel and to take time off work. You want to be sure, so you talk it to death in your head and if you are lucky, you talk it to death with your new partner.

And if you don’t, if they aren’t willing to put that work in during the beginning, do not expect them to do it later on in the relationship, because I know from experience that they won’t.

Here are some things that I’m going to try this go ’round. My new boyfriend is more than willing to put that work in, to talk about the scary stuff, so I am one of the lucky ones.

*Figure out how you are going to share the traveling. Will you take turns?  Will you split the cost, because it isn’t fair for all of that to be on one person. It’s got to be equitable or it will lead to resentment very quickly.

*How often will you get together?  I found before that it helped to have some idea when we’d see each other again. Just this huge empty window with no trip planned for the future, really not a good feeling.

*Try to touch base fairly often. It only takes a few minutes to send someone a “good morning” text before you go to sleep at night and boy is it thrilling to find that text first thing in the morning. It’s easy to feel disconnected, but it’s also easy to remedy that feeling. Do take the time to do so. You will not be sorry.

*Be realistic about the time that you and your partner are able to put toward the relationship. You’ve each got work, home, family, and friends to deal with. You have to continue to live a full life and not make your entire day about that evening phone call with your honey. Of course, that will be the highlight of your day, but don’t forget to eat, take out the garbage, and meet your girlfriends for margaritas, too.

It isn’t easy, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Good luck!

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