6 Reasons Bald Men Make Better Lovers
February 8, 2007 by Cory
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
Let’s cut to the chase, ladies. In no particular order here’s why you want a Bald Man.
1. Attention. Men with highly maintained hair have to spend their time and money maintaining that ‘do. That’s time and money a Bald Man would be spending on you.
2. Evolution. Bald Men are the future; the hairy are a dying breed. Hair is vestigial structure lingering from the old days when we didn’t know how to wear layers, heat our homes and stay indoors during blizzards. Bald Men are more advanced, whereas hairy men are more monkey-like.
3. Testosterone. Excess testosterone is a cause of male pattern baldness. Testosterone is also useful in other areas of life. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
4. Simplicity. This is related to #1, but expanded. Bald Men live simpler lives. Less product crowding up the shelf in the shower. Less effort coordinating schedules around his and her salon appointments. Less time spent getting ready to leave the house. The simpler his lifestyle, the better for you.
5. Confidence. A Bald Man is a confident man. You don’t want some one whose self-confidence is so fragile that they need to stroke their ego by brushing their hair. Don’t waste your time baby-sitting some hairy namby-pamby. Find a confident Bald Man.
6. Sensitivity. The flip-side of #5 is that Bald Men are also more sensitive. Society is always telling us how inferior we are… even if society is wrong. This oppression means a Bald Man is more adept at listening and showing empathy than those guys who have hair stuck in their ears.
So there you have it, ladies. Now, go get yourself a Bald Man.
Hey Cory! LOL!! I’m sending this to all my girlfriends and relatives who are married to hairless men, so they can appreciate their guy just a wee bit more, heh heh heh. Thanks! Happy V day to you and Kerri.
Right on target! I wouldn’t trade my balding honey for any hairy guy in the universe!
I am more monkey-like.
stef,
Thanks for the well wishes. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours, too.
Katharine,
Glad to have you on board!
Steve,
No need to worry; surveys show most people still think monkeys are cute. Look how popular they are at the zoo!
Yes but from the following link it is common knowledge monkeys have no more mentality than to fling their own poo at zoo attendees.
http://www.problogger.net/archives/2007/02/08/how-to-blog-with-voice-and-increase-community-and-readership/
I didn’t say people thought monkey’s were smart; just cute.
Ah, gotcha.
Wait, I don’t get it… nyuck nyuck…
You used an image of a Cadbury Caramello chocolate bar, my favoritest candy bar in the whole world. Are you taunting me?
I would LOVE a bald man but the only ones I know are married. Or 85. Or married AND 85.
And the search goes on..
Thank you.
Your sentiments are echoed by Christine Lavin in her song “Bald Headed Men.”
A recent Today Show segment on “Bald Men: Is it Hot or Not?” came down decisively on the confidence factor. Shaving your head is an in-your-face “I’m bald and what of it?” thing.
Google segment title or search msn video under segment title or try this link:
http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-us&vid=a2cc4021-54c7-4453-86d2-a9112b10be28
Thanks for the kudos. This baldie appreciates your vote of confidence