A Day With Autism
July 6, 2009 by Jeff Stimpson
Filed under Health
“You get the time off but not the work off.” Jill’s point is largely true, regarding both newsrooms and households with autism.
I will say that she got the household work off last week, when I had dinner ready for her every night when she came through the door at 6:45, after spending the day with both boys (who were off from school). But yes, when she returned from a July Fourth weekend last night I was the one who expected to kick back a little bit. She had spent the last two days with friends and family, waving sparklers on July 4th night and releasing Ned to play with new friends who’ve become very special to him at grandpa’s lake house.
Photo courtesy of JunCTionS (flickr.com)
I spent July Fourth with Alex, walking one end of the Bronx Zoo to another, looking at the animals. Later we hit a coffee shop. Alex had chicken fingers; I had a BLT. Neither of us had a hot dog or a hamburger with chips on a paper plate, and that’s because Alex and his autism are too hard to chase at grandpa’s lake house. The zoo was great, the BLT tasty. But they added up to no real Fourth of July with family or friends for either Alex or me, and that’s autism’s fault.
So I could crab jere about autism or remember the Thanksgiving of 1981 (also a bummer), or I could join forces with Jill and make sure that next year if the neither of us actually get the work off, at least we’re all overworked in the same place. Book a car early. Try to book a babysitter early. Plan activities with Alex at grandpa’s lake house, a schedule to eat the afternoon. Treat July Fourth with the importance is has come to acquire. Do not surrender to the temptation and the slippery slope of excluding Alex from family events. Somehow give autism a holiday weekend.
Yes, we want Alex and Jeff at family events. No, we can’t chase after Alex b/c we’re too old, arthritic, and tired (and out of shape–another word for FAT)–that’s why planning is key. I’m sure crossing local teen’s palm with silver (or gold) will buy you a day at the lake with a chance to eat hot dogs, hamburgers, chips and roasted marshmallows–so–you have only 362 days next to plan for NEXT YEAR. be there or be square==-and Alex can bring his zoo toys there too–maybe they can go swimming.
And I want to be there (see “beer” and “fridge”), and Alex MUST be there. July 4th was just a dropped ball on our part this year. That’s the toughest part of autism on families: a ball always falls just when you think you’ve got a firm grip.
It’s hard to decide how to handle those family events. I tend to think of one of our twins as having more safety awareness, but yesterday he walked into a swimming pool fully clothed (so then I ran into the pool fully clothed). If I can’t keep a good eye on them, I find it hard to trust other people to keep them safe. Even relatives, who mean so well.
Have you ever looked into an “autism dog”? Might not work in a Manhattan apartment, but it could help with the bolting. I’ve looked into it, but haven’t acted on it yet.
P.S. no more orzo salad. that’s so 2004. i have to come up with a new dish.