A different perspective on the Sandwich Generation
Virtual Doug has an interesting post about being in the Sandwich Generation.
He writes about being raised to be self-reliant, a quality valued in American culture, yet, for example, in the Asian culture, filial piety dictates that caring for aging parents involves being physically present and doing the day to day care.
He looks at the Sandwich dilemma as a conflict between living out our learned independence and honoring our parents:
Hence, the dilemmas of our “sandwich generation” of Americans. We have raised our children, yet we are the ones with elderly parents who need daily care. We yearn for the day when we can retire and travel or do whatever we damned well please. Our culture has raised us to be independent, yet somebody must care for Mom and Dad – we must honor our father and mother. We are caught in the middle. We are the cheese in the sandwich.
Not being raised in an Asian culture, I am not adjusting quickly to the concept of having to care for my mother in an Asian way. This is not to be confused with my not loving her – it has to do with filial piety in our culture. She was very successful in raising me to be independent, and now I am conflicted between my desire for that independence and my obligation to honor my mother.
Maybe the sandwich is that I know a little about being Vietnamese, yet I’m totally American – - and I’m in the middle.
