A good balance…
July 22, 2008 by Kerri Aldrich
Filed under Relationships
I think I’ve mentioned before that Bald Man and I are a pretty good balance. One is a little more organized. I’m a little (read as—a lot) less so. One likes a schedule and expectations. I’m more willing to fly by the seat of my pants. One is bald. I’m not.
Sometimes I wonder, though, if we’re a little too balanced. Or, more accurately, if we’re not missing some features that would benefit us as a couple. Most often, I wonder how different our life would be if just one of us was a risk taker.
Our life, up to this point, has been pretty predictable. High school sweethearts, graduated from college, got married, bought a house, had kids. Still live and work within 15 minutes of where we lived when we met. Nothing bad, good actually, just nothing all that exciting.
We’ve had fantastic ideas, and sorta plans, to move across the ocean, adopt a child, travel, and so much more. And none of it has happened. It seems that, if it didn’t just come naturally and easily, neither of us has whatever it takes to really make it happen.
This is not at all to say that I’m not so very thankful for my life and marriage. I am. I just wonder who we would be at this point in our life if one of us was a bit more of a “breaking the mold” kind of person.
What personality attributes do you think might be missing from your marriage?
hmm…Kerri,
you might want to talk to Marc about that…He got stuck with a major risk taker;adrenalin junkie…Again, the whole Lucy meets the terminator thing…
:/
and thanks for the welcome
Funny you should bring this up now. So in the span of 3 weeks, I accepted a new job, put the house on the market, sold the house and found an apartment 4 hours away we’ll call home starting next week. We are very much NOT risk takers but threw caution to the wind this once to see what it’s like. As long as we have each other, we’ll be alright (after the shock fades)!
What attributes are missing. Hmm… for me, it is patience and a laid back attitude. Honestly, I am a do-er. I see what needs to be done and I do it. My husband is more laid back… a procrastinator, which leaves me often times feeling like he is lazy. Opposites attract, but sometimes it also makes us feel like wringing one another’s necks. Or more like, I feel like wringing, and he feels like sitting back and letting things happen. LOL!
Oh, and together we need to find a better financial balance. We both like to buy stuff. I’ve improved lately, so had he, but it is a constant battle not to want new clothes, electronics, etc. Neither of us had that luxury growing up, so we tend to want it now.
We’ve got the “opposites attract” thing down pretty well, but we’re both missing that little voice inside our heads that says, “stop arguing in front of your friends and family.” Not good.
What’s wrong with having a good life? Sure some
excitement in a marriage is a good thing but a lot
of people want what you have.
Having said that…… Make a list of the top
five things you want to do in the next five years then lay out a plan on how to get there.
Enjoy where you at
Andy
I agree with Maria on this one. My Fiancee is so laid back and a procrastinator that I’m often nagging at him to get things done if they aren’t done within the time that I want them done. I know, I have to work on that, but he also has to work on not procrastinating so much. It makes me feel like if I don’t do it then it will never get done.
Also we both didn’t have alot of luxury, like Maria said, so we want want want now that we are older and have our own money. When we were living in a one bedroom apartment with no real bills, i.e. electricity/water since they were less then 75 dollars a month together, it was easy for us to live the lifestyle we never had and spend spend spend. Now that we bought a brand new house and have to heat/cool/water and 1800 square feet it’s a little tougher. Not to mention two car payments and gas. It’s hard living within our means but we are doing pretty good, I think, we could do a lot better though. Eating out is something that drains our money and that needs to stop.
Other then that, and we both know these things about ourselves, I think we are a pretty great fit.