A Simple But Important Lesson

Spending time with yourself is a very important thing to do.  We’re not really conditioned to believe that this is healthy or normal.  Being with others, being popular, that’s what seems to matter most.

Being single and divorced, I fought this sense of “aloneness” for quite a while.  I love being with people, especially the people I love.  But there is a unique value to being alone with oneself, and appreciating who and what you are, and what you believe.  You can’t get to know yourself until you really spend time with you–your thoughts, ideas and desires–and get to know them well.

Even through meditation, I have found this to be challenging.  I still hear the internal negative chit-chat that comes from inside of me.  But I’ve learned over time to listen to it more closely and tie it to it’s appropriate emotional “anchor.”  For example, if I am feeling as though I am not achieving what I want to at work, my mind often wanders to thoughts about what I am not doing correctly, not what I could do better.  I have trained myself to focus on the latter.  Of course, we can all feel burdened over mistakes or missteps we feel we have made.  But the point is to fix the problem or issue, not assign blame.  This negative self-talk was not helping me, and over time I am learning to transform it through my thoughts and meditation.

My goal now is to move from self-hate to a platform of self-love.  I can always come up with areas in which I am not reaching my goals.  This is not productive.  I am now training myself to focus on what I have done right, and try to build upon that. 

Practicing self-love through meditation is helping me to learn how to open myself up to unconditional love from others that I may have missed in the past, as well as love from the universe.  I haven’t always been able to accept that, but I believe that as I continue to work on it, my life–both emotional and material–will improve and thrive. 

I’m also learning that self-love comes from within, much like self-loathing.  If we don’t love ourselves,  and don’t project that love externally, than how can we expect others to love us? 

The journey begins within.  It’s not the easiest place to start.  But it is the most fruitful.

Peace.