Adult Friendships
May 27, 2009 by Michelle Smith
Filed under Relationships
Aly, one of the other realtionship writers here at Blisstree, wrote about an issue that came up with her friend the other day. She was confused and unsure how to handle the situation. Adult friendships can be tricky. There’s not always a clear path to take, it’s easy to misread things or second-guess yourself.
Remember when you were a kid, how easy it was to make friends? You were offered up a new selection every Fall when you returned to school or you could hang with the kids in your neighborhood. Either way, there were so many options and the rules were pretty simple – play outside until Mom called you in for dinner.
Then, there was high school and it was pretty much the same, only you had more kids to chose from. Need a best friend in high school, grab the one who dresses like you. Easier to pick out boys back then, too.
As an adult, it’s harder. You work, you run errands, you clean your house, whatever. Life is busy and friend-shopping is no longer easy. For a long time, I made acquataince-friends with neighbors and that worked out okay, we’d chat some, but they were usually married or in some way living a very different type of life than the one that I lead.
I found a couple of old friends on MySpace – Leah and Jackie – and suddenly I had real-world girlfriends again. Oh joy! And that’s not sarcastic, I love those girls, time with them is pure joy.
Do you have good girlfriends? If you do, where did you find them? Do you keep in touch with old friends?
Image credit: Michelle Smith
I am blessed with a best girlfriend that I’ve known since junior high. A lot of times, you grow older, interests change and you grow apart. But J and I, we started out as acquaintances in junior high (I still remember the year I didn’t get invited to her birthday party and all my other friends did), then we became very good friends in high school. In college, it progressed to best friends, and then roommates. And now we live apart again – she’s getting married in a few months – but I’d say we’re closer than ever. Now that we’ve entered the world of grown up relationships with boys, I feel like we need each other more than ever. I feel very blessed by this friendship. I think it’s one I will have for life. My life would be much less without the friendship. I know I’m lucky that way.
I’ve also been fortunate to keep a group of good girlfriends from college. We get together for dinner fairly regularly, and I just went to Germany with them for a week, and got to know them even better than I already thought I did. I am thankful for them too.
And for the two girlfriends I’ve made at work. I am in the wedding of one of them in a few months.
Clearly, I have too much to say on this topic. It’s just, my girlfriends, I am so very grateful for them.
I am blessed with a best girlfriend that I’ve known since junior high. A lot of times, you grow older, interests change and you grow apart. But J and I, we started out as acquaintances in junior high (I still remember the year I didn’t get invited to her birthday party and all my other friends did), then we became very good friends in high school. In college, it progressed to best friends, and then roommates. And now we live apart again – she’s getting married in a few months – but I’d say we’re closer than ever. Now that we’ve entered the world of grown-up relationships with boys, and the joys and the heartaches that brings, I feel like we need each other more than ever. I feel very blessed by this friendship. I think it’s one I will have for life. My life would be much less without the friendship. I know I’m lucky that way.
I’ve also been fortunate to keep a group of good girlfriends from college. We get together for dinner fairly regularly, and I just went to Germany with them for a week, and got to know them even better than I already thought I did. I am thankful for them too.
And for the two girlfriends I’ve made at work. I am in the wedding of one of them in a few months.
Clearly, I have too much to say on this topic. It’s just, my girlfriends, I am so very grateful for them.
Thanks for responding, Heather. I have always enjoyed reading about your friendship with J.
That’s exactly the sort of relationship that I’m talking about. We need good friends. When I hear women say, “Oh, I don’t get along with other women,” I feel sad for them. That sisterhood bond is an important one.
Girl, you are in a lot of weddings!!!
I’d say that means you have a lot of friends who love you and want you to be an important part of their big day. Pretty cool.
Hey, I am still pretty young but I totally get what you mean. once you leave high school and work, it becomes really hard to meet people. I found my two best girlfriends through my boyfriend one he works with and the other through his ex best friend. it was his girlfriend at the time.
Its funny how he was a catalyst in it all, but work friends I sometimes find can turn sour very fast and sometimes it can shake up the work place not fun. but yea. thats how i met my ladies
The older we get the harder it is to come by friends…true, good friends. It took a few years of being in town and sticking like glue to my husband, but thanks to myspace and to your open and willingness to make friends…I scored a jackpot.
I scored a jackpot, too, Leah.
ha! that’s a crazy mixed up story… Don’t we become friends with who we share the most with? Work, kids, time. Some people I think just have a tendency to share more than others don’t you think?
jb, I agree, some people do feel comfortable sharing more than others. Sometimes I share and then I think, dang, should have kept quiet about that one.
I went back and read Aly’s post again. Her story did sound tricky. I would have felt funny about that computer situation, as well.