After-school stress
October 22, 2007 by Sherry Osborne
Filed under Parenting
Opening yourself up to advice is scary but here it is. My five-year-old is a holy terror after school. In general she’s a great kid even though she has her moments, just like all kids. Since starting school, she has constant meltdowns and tantrums that rival my two-year-old.
In theory I know why this is. I know that she’s gone for seven hours every day and is in an environment where she has to listen and follow a structured routine and rules. By the time she gets home, she’s been holding it all together and then when she finds herself in a safe place (safe as in we are her parents and we love her unconditionally, not that her school is not safe), she just loses her mind and all hell breaks loose. As I sit here, holed up in my bedroom with my laptop so I can get some semblance of peace while I work, I can hear her crying and stomping her feet because my husband refused to give her some cookies since we’re going to eat supper soon. It’s crazy. It’s like that from roughly ten minutes after walking in the door until bedtime.
Knowing the reason for it is fine but it doesn’t help. I make sure she eats good snacks when she gets home. Today she had a piece of toast with peanut butter and a plum. That way I know she’s not having a blood sugar crash. We don’t take her on eight hundred errands after school, she usually comes home and unwinds. We do things with her and for her, so she’s not being dumped in front of the TV and neglected for the rest of the day. And yet it’s a massive explosion for hours.
She could be tired but there’s little I can do about that. I put her to bed at 7:30 with a book or two, but whether she falls asleep quickly or not is up to her. Sometimes she’s out before the clock turns to 8, other times it’s 9 and I’m wondering if she’ll ever pass out. Then she has to be up at 6:30 but sometimes she wakes up earlier,about 5:45 or 6 am and that’s it. She has quiet time at school after lunch but only fell asleep there once when she was coming down with a cold.
I’m at my wits’ end (and I didn’t have many to begin with, ha!). I turn to you, especially readers who have gone through this and survived. I had sort of thought that with some patience and understanding that it would even out after awhile once she got used to school (which she loves, by the way, so it’s not problems at school coming home with her), but no dice. If anything, it’s getting worse.
What have you done to tame the after-school monster?
This happened really bad with my 1st grader in pre-school & again in kindergarten (full day). This year has been so much better! All of my advice you are already doing. I had to have food ready for her immediately upon her stepping foot in the house. I also limited errands, etc. My daughter is a night owl too & usually goes to bed around 10 no matter what I try, so it is long evenings! I wish I had advice for you. One of the things that got me through it was that she was very good in school. I decided I’d rather have the acting up at home vs dealing w/ teachers, etc. It also gets better each year, you get new problems, but this one will get better, lol. I’m sorry wish I had some great advice. Another one is pick your battles. Sometimes I’d let her have a Popsicle or a snack I normally wouldn’t allow just to keep the peace. She eats well anyway & has no weight issues, etc. Good luck & I look forward to seeing the advice you get! Oh my daughter also dances & she loves it. That would help get some of her energy out. Maybe look into a program for her: Daisies, dance, gymnastics, swimming, etc.