Ah Yes! The Imposition Of One’s Will
October 17, 2006 by Mark
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
We speak a great deal in AA to the practice of self-will versus God’s Will.
This is only my personal opinion, but I can tell you that this is one asylum the inmates aren’t about to run lmao… so -
I’d like you all to welcome Micky. Micky has made three comments here today;
#1 – The Main Problem
#2 – The Disease Speaks
Micky has visited before with much the same type of talk. Folks, in the spirit of what God has given me, i.e. an immeasurable amount of gratitude, please let us view Micky’s comments in a positive light. I would seriously suggest that none of us attempt to get into a direct confrontation with Micky.
[Edit: I'm sorry folks. I couldn't resist. I have to stop. Know that I don't speak for AA but only for me okay? I'm just not quite as "recovered" as others.]
Micky is entitled to Micky’s opinion!
Micky, my personal thoughts to you are these;
It feels very obvious to me who your mentor is from the way you speak. I know of him and his program. We practice AA here. We are all grateful for a new life and sobriety that we thought we’d never know.
Your attempt to provoke us, force your will on us or whatever your motive for your comments may be, is doomed to failure. Why? Because with no shadow of any doubt we believe that if God is for us, you cannot be against us. You are not God. You pull your pants on one leg at a time exactly as we all do. You bleed exactly as we all do. You’re no different than us. Therefore your attempt to dissuade us, in my perception, is nothing more than an attempt by the devil itself to kill us. For myself, I have dismissed your words as worthless. You are entitled to them. I am entitled to throw them away.
That doesn’t mean I will delete them (your mentor specifically, with prejudice, approves/disapproves comments on his Blog to suit his purpose). I want those who visit here to see and read the venomous anger and hostility and resentments that folks like you have for those who have been blessed by the real Word of God!
BTW – what really, truly says volumes and speaks out so much more loudly than your words is the words or information you don’t provide! Sure, we’re all anonymous, yet you make it a point to disallow any return comment where you “reside” on the Internet. Why do you hide? We don’t.
Oh – and – Peace Be With You Also,
Mark
A quick edit – wow Micky, you certainly go out of your way to hide don’t you? A Traceroute with 30 hops – geeesh! I won’t tell ya’ where folks, but Micky speaks with a Southern Hemisphere accent.
Greetings Mark
I wonder if this might interest you:
I felt some pain reading your comments – - you didn’t mention how you felt, Mark! I imagine you are a “control freak”, “rageaholic” & “avoider.” You have a conscious fear of intimacy & unconscious fear of abandonment. Being a terrified “little boy,” you rage over your fear, pain, & shame. I wonder if a good therapist might help you process those feelings which are underneath your rage & recover “little Mark” who I imagine, you abandoned many, many years ago. If you continue to attend 12 Step groups you will eventually end up as just another Bill & Bob clone – - emotionally shutdown zombie!! I will pray for you, Mark!
Peace Be With You
Micky
Aaaawww – that’s so nice of you Micky… yeah it does “interest” me.
FYI – I had no pain writing them.
There is no fear of intimacy. Been there, done that. The fear of abandonment is real and very conscious and I’m well aware of it. I no longer rage. I’m no longer ashamed.
I guess I’ll just be required to disrupt your happiness. Yep! I’m all of those, but the Twelve Steps, a Loving God and an excellent therapist have already seen me through all your imagined issues and I’m reborn today. “Little Mark” grew up as a direct result of 12 Steps, AA, and God, who led me there. And it wasn’t me who abandoned him, it was my father.
Then – we complete the 180 degrees – I’m fully capable of love. I’m not an emotional zombie. Too bad, Micky, you lose…
I’ll pray for you too
I felt some pain when you mentioned that your father abandoned you. I can relate to your process – my mother put me in a convent(England)when I was two. I never knew my father, so i can relate to the pain, shame & grief you felt (I imagine). You mentioned that you feel no pain & no fear of intimacy, but you never mentioned how you felt. Does your therapist help you process your feelings or your non – feelings?? You said you no longer rage (Then – we complete the 180 degrees – I’m fully capable of love. I’m not an emotional zombie. Too bad, Micky, you lose…)- I imagine you were “raging” over your fear & shame. I suggest you change your therapist – has he processed his own history? Do you believe that Jesus Christ died on a cross for your sins, Mark? I will continue to pray for you!!
Peace Be With You
Micky
I love baseball.
LMAO – Thanks dAAve!!!
One time and this time only Micky, show a bit of respect – as will I. You cannot, nor will I ever allow you, to question my personal faith in the God I understand. It is God The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. The reality of my stating that has absolutely nothing to do with AA and recovery when contained within the context of your comment. I Love Our Savior as passionately as anyone and never, never neglect thanking all of them for what I have from them.
You have strayed from the topic at hand which are the 12 Steps and recovery from a hopeless state of mind wherever it applies, AA, NA, CA, whatever A…
Seems to me you might have an obsession with how others feel. Why are you so very concerned about how others feel?
I’m happier today than I have ever been in my life! That’s how I feel. You cannot deny that. Sober is good enough for me.
BTW – my father’s abandonment was dealt with in the 12 Steps as I worked them with a sponsor at the same time I worked with a wonderful therapist.
If dAAve is going to get a pickup game going, count me in.
If Micky wants to rant, count me out.
I’ll stick with what works. My life has never been better, nor my relationship with God. I thank God for Bill and Bob.
Greetings Mark
I still don’t know what your feeling, “young fella!” I imagine you are completely insane, can you see what the “cult” has done to your brain – completely altered it. You obviously don’t know how to be intimate. I feel some sadness; it probably isn’t your fault.
8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
[1 Peter 5: 8]
I imagine Satan is starting to devour you, Mark!! John 3: 16 will save you!
Peace Be With You
Micky
“I imagine Satan is starting to devour you, Mark!! John 3:16 will save you!”
??? Say What Micky ??? Jesus already saved me by his death on the cross! Where have you been?
BTW – your imagination mechanism is screwed up dude… as in – it ain’t working at all, not one bit, nada.
Thank God! The cult altered my brain!
i wish i understood fellowship better. I wish i had no expectations of fellowship. after meetings, people often go for dinner or lunch; i go but usually reluctantly. I usually feel so awkward at these social events. It seems like there are many other people who are so much better at getting other peoples attention that i feel lost in the crowd. why the heck do I go? so I can once more have those feelings of invisibility and then once more tell myself that it’s a temporary situation and that I can leave at the end of the meal and be on my way and leave these feelings behind. it makes me want to act out—use drugs or have casual sex. I thought fellowship was supposed to be fun, why is it so painful for me? I dont get it. I’ve been going to meetings for 15 months now and fellowshipping, yet I still dread big groups of people having a meal out. can we go in smaller groups?
in o-town,
Just a first thought – 15 months? Try seeking out a newcomer with less time and talk with them. You have a LOT to offer with 15 months to someone who doesn’t know what’s going on! A better understanding of fellowship will follow…
Second thought – hang in there until you’re able to 3rd Step it. Don’t leave before the miracle happens!