Alex’s other principal

If I can stop crying long enough, I can write a few thoughts on Alex’s graduation from elementary school.

Alex’s school, a NYC public special ed school, has a bunch of locations. They’re schools-within-schools: a few classrooms in a general ed school. In this case, an elementary school in Washington Heights whose only drawback is how far it is from our apartment.

Unlike many other schools, the principal of the general ed school — Tracy Walsh — is unusually welcoming to the special ed students. Near the end of kindergarten, Alex came home with a graduation day t-shirt from PS 48. What’s this? I thought. Alex isn’t graduating. Alex doesn’t go to PS 48. On the back of the t-shirt were all the names of the graduating students. And Alex was one of them.

Six years later, Alex came home with another graduating t-shirt. Alex is graduating, we realized. And there was his name.

On the way to school we got a phone call from Alex’s teacher asking if we were bringing black pants for Alex. Apparently a letter was sent home (we never got it) asking the graduating students to wear black pants and white shirts. Even if we’d gotten it, I think it would have been near impossible to get Alex into black pants: he only wears khaki.

When we got there, June (his teacher) had somehow gotten him to wear an unfamiliar white t-shirt AND he was sporting a blue ribbon sash. Through the crowds of parents we could see Alex sitting with his teacher. We read the program: Alex would receive two awards, one for reading and a special UFT (United Federation of Teachers) medal of achievement.

When he went up to the stage, he was always accompanied by his teacher or an aide. Good thing, because he found the red curtains on the stage irresistible. People laughed, but not unkindly. They applauded when his name was read. Alex’s teacher read names for some of the awards, and the assistant principal of his school, who is leaving to become a principal, was honored. And I think this is what makes me so weepy. It was no surprise that Alex would be somewhat wander-y or would need someone to help him on and off the stage. But that his classmates and teachers and administrators would be so much a part of this big, glorious celebration was unexpected (I know, I should guessed from those t-shirts).

It’s not like this in a lot of schools. General ed principals can be uncomfortable with our kids — and in some cases downright unwelcoming. I’m sad that Alex is leaving this beautiful school that was so accepting of how different he is. I know the rest of the world doesn’t have the same serene acceptance of people who are different. But really. Every school should be like PS 48. Every principal, every leader should conduct with the grace and kindness of Tracy Walsh.

We bought flowers for Tracy Walsh yesterday morning,  who shrugged off all thanks and said, “They’re all our kids.”