January 13, 2007 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
“All you talk about is autism. Don’t you ever talk about anything else?”
Someone said to me today.
Well, of course I do and of course I don’t: Everything in my life comes back to Charlie, to autism.
And, for me, that’s not a bad thing at all.
[...] My son Charlie has autism—-is autistic—is on the autism spectrum—and this simple fact has come to shape every aspect of my every day, and without one single regret in me. When, a month ago, someone told me “All you talk about is autism,” I was speechless. In part, because the statement was undeniably true: Charlie is the center of my life and, because Charlie is autistic, autism just is a big part of my life, my conversation, my thoughts. The individual who made that statement is more than an acquaintance and, as such, I had wished to speak to her about the things that are most important to me, that have meant the most to me; the things that have caused me to look hard at myself, and to see where I had to change my perspective and just plain change, to do my best for Charlie. [...]
 | Click here to subscribe to Blisstree, or enter your email address and we'll send updates straight to your inbox. |
It’s probably infectious, or do I mean contagious, or do we just cross contaminate each other?
Cheers
Kristina, I think about autism all the time, and there’s nothing more interesting in the world to me than my autistic kid, but I know that most people don’t share that same intense interest, even when they’re close to us. So I usually wait until they ask before I start talking about autism. Otherwise I’ll just follow their lead – be it war on Iraq, Brangelina, or their crush on a coworker.
Funny thing, this person said this to me and I wasn’t talking about autism at all!
I have enough other perseverations to talk about, it isn’t always autism.
Whether I do or don’t I’ll leave to others to discern—the context of what was said to me today was that autism was not a pleasant topic and couldn’t we talk about better things.
Like my other perseverations, too!
hi if your world evovles aroiund your child with autism so be it never mind about anybody else your child and his autism are very very important
those that want to listen will and 1those that dont stuff em i say my daughter 19 and you with be surprised how much my life is consumed by her autism so never worry you talk about it how and when you like
That person sounds uneducable to me, sadly. Or maybe overwhelmed with some sort of strong feeling…
Of course this is in the forefront of our minds- so much negotiating of life & educating of our kids & society, so much bad press that needs an answer!
For Christmas I gave my mom a tote bag that says “Proud Grandmother of someone with Autism” & it brought tears to her eyes, & mine. A few years ago I would never have imagined this scene, she was so distressed by the discoveries being made about her precious grandson. The past 5 years have been a growing time for our whole family, & one of the things that has grown is trust, thank goodness. Our pockets of family dysfunction still exist, but they aren’t any larger due to our having moved into Autismland (they may even have shrunk a bit
, & that feels like a blessing. Thanks for the thought-provoking post, Kristina. It’s good to reflect on these things from time to time…
Yeah, this person sounds very insensitive, because it’s not like you talk about autism like you would talk about astronomy or Vietnam. It’s about something that is PART OF YOUR LIFE.
The comment made me reflect on how I do talk a lot about autism, but of course! There’s so much misunderstanding and when one encounters it in someone who is not a stranger (the person who said this comment was close to our family), it feels rather shocking. I really appreciate hearing from everyone……really do.
I think that even if you are “completely NT” (and I have some slight doubts, but that is only from reading your blog, so what do I know), you have the right to have some perseveration(s).
Not completely NT? me? hmmmm……
I don’t think/talk about autism all the time, but I certainly experience “autism all the time”. And I do spend a fair amount of my time discussing and reading about autistic-y things.
I live with autism 24/7 but do not always talk about it online. I watch two soaps and like to discuss them on boards and also write about product reviews on other sites. The only real place where autism is not in the picture is when I am at the 24 hour fitness gym working out and just like other people there.