Alzheimer’s Patients Caring for One Another

“I fed Esther her lunch.  Very difficult as she didn’t seem to care if she ate or not.  Patiently I worked at it and got her to eat quite a bit of chicken,” my mother wrote about a visit to see her sister in a nursing home.   

Recently I came across this letter my mom wrote me after her sister with Alzheimer’s could no longer live with her.  Mother was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s herself by that time.  After Auntie escaped from Mother’s home several times, we decided it was time she had more secure care.

Mother visited her sister frequently and became very concerned as Auntie’s appetite and ability to swallow decreased.  Auntie, the older sister by five years, had  cared for Mother when they were younger.  Now it was Mother’s turn.  When Mother could no longer drive, we tried to ensure she had transportation for frequent visits to the nursing home 25 miles away.

Gradually Mother entrusted Auntie to my care when she could no longer make decisions.  She seemed aware of this difficulty because one day she asked me to take over the responsibility for Auntie (a divorcee with no children).

Bonds that form in early life in families often carry into the latter years.   Auntie, when she needed care in her Alzheimer’s days, came to live with my mom and dad, even though they weren’t in the best of health.  Now when I talk with family friends, who observed the threesome at church, shopping, going for a drive (when Mother still could drive),  marvel that Mother would take on the care of both an ailing husband and a sister with Alzheimer’s. 

They set an example, I discovered, of what family and friendship was all about.