An Idea of Order
December 7, 2007 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
I think it was sometime in October that Charlie, after lugging in his share of the bulging plastic bags, started (without anyone asking) to put away the groceries. I could stand behind him and tell him a plastic container of toffee, the bananas and the receipt from the store don’t need to go in the refrigerator. But I have rather been waiting and seeing where he puts things away, where Charlie thinks that things should go—it’s a bit of a window into how Charlie sees the world and understands it to be ordered.
Bags of frozen items—vegetables, shrimp—are heaped in the middle the freezer. Boxes with frozen items end up on the top shelf of the refrigerator. A box of crackers is to be found in the cabinet above the sink along with a bag of tortilla chips—-and two bags of lettuce.
Last of all, Charlie puts away some containers of yogurt, just as you see in the photo. The wider one on the right goes in first, then the more slender Yoplait one—which Charlie is careful to set down with the narrow end on the bottom. The upside down letters are not the signal for how to set down this yogurt, nor is the foil cover: Charlie, as far as I can tell, is going for symmetry in yogurt placement. It’s the general shape of things, it’s contours, that he is looking at, and not so much the details of the letters on the label. Charlie also seems to group together foods by container (bags of chips and bags of lettuce in the cabinet), and, perhaps, by whether things are raw and not chopped up (bananas and onions, asparagus and apples, all end up in a heap on another refrigerator shelf).
I let the yogurts be: As you read, they are still in those positions, and I’m waiting to see what his next move will be.
I’ve definately had to give up the idea that my way was the right way in order for Patrick to express how he feels things should be.
Charlie has definetely become a great assistant around the house, hasn’t he? I find it amazing how his mind (and also my son’s) interpret things and behaviors. It takes a lot of effort and time to be able to understand his motives when he does something in a specific way. Great job, Kristina! I’m still working on that. Oh, and I couldn’t help noticing that you have Greek Fage yogurts! I didn’t know you have them in the US.
I smiled big and tears come to my eyes as I read this post. Truly wonderful! I love things like this in our lives too. I don’t know if it touches all parents as it touched me when I read this? It just really made me happy! Thank you for sharing it.
I am much happier when my household is in my order, which makes sense only to me in many areas. I have tried so hard to adapt to fit the needs of my children, but sometimes it effects me more than I realize. So then I give up and everything is in chaos, which silently eats away at me until I explode! I am a container and symmetry fiend. Order means control. Control means certainty. Certainty means less stress. Does Charlie get upset when items he strategically places are moved (like the lettuce)? I imagine if his process stops with putting the groceries away, he’d be OK. But maybe not if his relationship with the objects continues on. It drives me nuts when I arrange food in the fridge a certain way and hubby or boys move it, but only the food that matters to me.
Thanks for sharing this. The picture is adorable. Nicholas likes to organize his toys in his room. He comes up with some really interesting set-ups and displays! This, to me, is the fun part of having a kid with AS.
Yes, it’s Fage yogurt—–just started to find it in the US (and have a container on my desk right now….).
Charlie is ok about me moving things; sometimes he just puts them back where he wants them. I like adapting to his sense of order (provided it’s not potatoes in the freezer or some such). I used to be extremely picky about keeping things in my order but I’ve become much more relaxed (organization is a big issue in our house—-ADHD husband—–I have to know the 6 possible plays where keys, glasses, and wallet may have been left).
After we got our groceries, a checker asked if I needed help carrying out the bags to my car and it was very (very) nice to point to Charlie and say, “Thanks no!”
It’s great that he takes so much initiative.
And I have to say you have an amazingly clean refrigerator.
Ha! I love watching how Lola groups and organizes things, too. She loves the wind-up toys in speech class (mostly just looking at them and categorizing them). She does all the typical classifications (animals types, things with wheels, etc.), but always groups these 2 windups together NOT because they are similar animals (one is a rabbit and one is a duck), but because they are made by the same manufacturer. Its obvious to me (it looks like they were part of the same cheap Easter set), and pleases me no end that Lola sees it, too.
For a while, when she was going through a horse phase, anything 2-legged had to ride on the
back of anything 4-legged. GI Joe on a triceratops, a Transformer robot on a goat, etc. I would find them posed throughout the house.
Please tell me that’s a brand new refrigerator – it’s spotless!
Great post. My son Nick pushes the cart in the store and is just like me with bagging. We hate that they put cat food with regular food and mix non refrigrated items with frozen, so we prefer to do our own bagging.
Just the other day Nick almost put cat food in the refrigerator. Matt likes to help with the storing of huggies goodnites. We get five cases a month and he watches me and now does it himself. He carries the box to the island in kitchen and somehow opens it up and empties the four packages and I get on stool and he hands me one at a time for top cabinet.
I felt back that last month the guy delivered late at night and Matt was asleep. I contemplated saving for next day, but it was a school day and I did not have room for all the boxes to sit and wait for after school.
That’s fabulous!
Having Charlie helping makes grocery shopping something to look forward to.