An Unholy Alliance: The Grapple
I was perusing the produce aisle a while back and came upon a box containing 4 apples. Wrong, the box informed me, these are grapples. The package proudly proclaimed: “Looks like an apple, tastes like a grape!
How could I resist this mutant hybrid? Sounded like a great idea to me. Then I saw the price and thought, Hmmm…six bucks is a lot for four apples!!! But being your Veggie Chic, I considered it my duty to experiment and report.
I was rather looking forward to the refreshing grapple taste. Then I opened the box and was hit with a wave of chemical laden, nausea-producing smells of terror. It smelled like a bit of sewage mixed with Dimetapp cough syrup. Ever since I was a child, that horrible fake grape taste of Dimetapp has made me want to puke, and I would always run from my mother when she tried to give it to me.
The taste of the foul-smelling grapple? Something like this:
Silly me for thinking this would be natural. When I see the word grapple, I expect a cross-pollination of apples and grapes. Apparently, these geniuses decided just to inject an apple with a hypodermic full of Dimetapp.
I am afraid to say that on this day, science was indeed used for evil.
Do not eat grapples.
You are too much, Rhys! ROFLMAO Don’t grapple me!
So you are saying it tasted like grap?
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Also, that is a LOT of packaging.
You are braver than I would have been, I dont think I could have even walked out of the store with those. Reminds me of the term franken-foods.
Glad you liked it, Hsien!
Kayll–grap! That’s brilliant! I love it. I’m going to include it in my everyday slang from now on.
Virgil in Book 2 of his Georgics talks about “pears bearing apples not their own”–a kind of tree-monster.
Good point, Jessie…now I know I SHOULD have been scared!
Cool, Kristina..I have to check that out!
Ow, I thought that this grapple is a bit of a good news, but it isn’t. It sure is interesting to have an apple tasting like grapes, but from your experience, my interest ended right there.
Terrible innovations, if i can call it an innovation in the first place. Lousy attempt to produce a new breed eh.
But Rhys, did you take a bite? You’re brave.
HILARIOUS!
Hi Neil!!! It was a very teensy bite…so not too brave.