Anger and eating disorders
January 5, 2009 by angelique
Filed under Women's Health
I’m convinced that the topic of weight makes people turn into angry individuals. It’s the weirdest thing.
For example, I was at the gym today. Changing. As I put on my shorts, a women in her late 40s/early 50s walked up to me. When she was about a foot away from me, she said (very loudly), “And what are you?!? A size zero or something?” She wasn’t laughing, she wasn’t joking around. She was… well… kind of mad.
It was strange.
Was she mad at me? I wanted to tell her, “Hey, honey. Chill.” But instead I just shook my head in shock and answered, “No, I’m not.” (And truth be told, I’ve never been a size zero, for the record.)
People with eating disorders know about this anger, I think. Hey, try saying something totally laid back about anorexics or bulimics or binge eaters on a blog like Breaking the Mirror–the angry comments can often be brutal. I’ve been called everything from a “wannarexic” to a “retard”. It’s interesting. And bizarre.
Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that the topic of weight and size infuriates people. I’m not certain why, exactly, but it seems to make otherwise rational persons go nuts.
Thoughts?
Me again. I discovered your blog and I really like the topics you put out here. Anyway, I think the topic of size and weight infuriates those who have issues with self-esteem where weight is the proof of one’s success, failure, good fortune… So in that sense, I don’t think it makes otherwise “rational” people go nuts. I used to be overweight and I absolutely envied to the point of disgust other women who were thin. Now I have been anorexic for years and still believe that other people envy me, even though I have been told that I would look better if I gained weight. I also get comments at the gym about how thin I am. It makes me uncomfortable because I don’t know how to respond. But inside, I love every minute of it.
A month or two after I began restricting I went to eat with my boyfriend and his friend and his friend’s girlfriend. We went for pizza and after a week of starving and losing a few pounds I was allowing myself a slice of pizza. My boyfriend ordered me 2 and I felt ridiculous with these two huge greasy things sitting in front of me. At one point the girl that was with us made a little bit of an annoyed comment “I wish I could eat two pieces of pizza and still be skinny like you” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry or punch her. I had worked so hard to allow this to happen. And then I thought about it-”I can’t eat 2 pieces of pizza and still be skinny” Because of her anger, I was triggered into a much larger cycle of starvation. I barely had 3 bites from the pizza.