Another friend joins the Sandwich Generation ranks

More and more of my friends are going through the illness of a parent. It really seems like there ought to be an orientation to this group we’ve joined, an all-day retreat or at least cocktails and a Power Point presentation.

When my mother became ill, I felt like the only person in the world going through it. I know I wasn’t, but, it sure felt that way. My friends were supportive (and continue to be), but, there were only a couple of people who really “got it”.

Even though I’m in my 40’s, most of my friends have parents who are healthy and active, and, as illogical as it sounds, I spent some time being jealous of that. Other people’s parents were keeping their kids for a week so they could go on a childless vacation, and, I was on my 8th night in the hospital with my mother while working full time and taking care of 3 kids and a house. Sick parents were something that “grown-ups” went through.

Yes, I do have a husband, but, the above sounds so much better for my pity party. Anyway, I somehow got over it, don’t ask me what the turning point was, I have no idea.

I have a friend whose mother died about a year before mine did. She has really helped me, and, it was so nice to have someone to tell me what to expect. But, now I’m realizing that I’m the one waiting for my friends on this side of things, since their parents are going to get older, too. I hope I can pass on what people have done for me.

I found out yesterday that another friend’s father, a good friend of my mother, isn’t doing well at all. My friend has a young child, and, lives all the way across the country, I can’t imagine. I haven’t been able to get hold of her, yet, but, at the risk of being that person who dumps support on you whether you need it or not, I hope I can communicate to her that she’s not alone, and, that there’s lots of us on the other side of this experience, and, it’s going to be OK.