Are Americans Happily Married?
September 29, 2008 by Michelle Smith
Filed under Relationships
What is your opinion of the state of married life in today’s world? Dismal? Bleak? Hopeful? You don’t want to think about it?
Recent headlines would have us believe that the marriage of today is full of strife and adultery. The headlines are full of the famous folk, but what about the common man and woman? Are their marriages faring any better?
According to a poll entitled The Truth About American Marriage sponsored by PARADE Magazine, married life in America is not too bad.
In fact, marriage seems to be working quite well for most of the people we surveyed: About 88% said they were happy or reasonably content in their marriages. Only 12% ranked their marriages at the bottom of the scale, in the range between “It’s miserable” and “I wish I could get out.”
Among people who stay married, 71% say they deeply love their partner and 73% are there for the companionship. About half of the couples surveyed say they are happy, that their unions are “loving and joyful,” and a third say they are peaceful. The unhappily marrieds are in the 7% slot.
Men are most satisfied with married life, with only 30% saying they’ve considered leaving their wife. Woman are not quite as happy - half of the wives have contemplated leaving. (I remember contemplating divorce the first week of my marriage).
Married Americans fight about pretty much what you’d expect them to fight about - money (43%), who takes out the garbage (27%), and sex (22%). A full 56% say they communicate well and less than 1% say that fights “turn physical.”
For more information about the survey, you can read the entire article at The Truth About American Marriage | PARADE Magazine.
One thing is for sure…we have fewer couple friends that have managed to stay married than those that have divorced. It’s depressing. We work pretty hard on our relationship to “make it”…and encourage our friends to do the same. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Perhaps if we all stopped to think it through beforehand there’d be less divorce. But I’m afraid that would scare everyone away from marriage…if we really knew how difficult it can be. You gotta WORK to make it work. But then…some folks should never be married in the first place. *sigh* I’d say marriage in general is in a sad state, but with glimmers of hope!
I wonder if it’s okay, but we think it’s in a sad state because the media tells more of the bad stories and less of the happy, successful stories? I like the “glimmers of hope” idea.
At least we know that readers of Parade are doing okay.
I will never marry for the simple fact that it’s nothing more than a piece of paper.
I think we should get rid of the whole concept entirely.
Wayne, if that’s what you really think about marriage, then it’s probably best if you don’t. It’s definitely not for everyone.
Okay Michelle, I really debated about commenting on this one because I have such a nasty narrow little view point on marriage. You know my motto–the “M” word is taboo and Marriage=Misery. I really do not think that the true concept of marriage was set up to be so horrible but in reality I really only know a few couples that are truly happy. I think the commitment behind the piece of paper is a beautiful thought. I tfeel that couples loose sight of why they fell in love to begin with and then the bitter battle of control begins.
It is surprising how when you get to the point of divorce - it’s like you are married to a stranger. What happened to the man you fell in love with? And he’s probably wondering the same thing.
I wonder what the problem is? Do people go into marriage without knowing each other well enough? Or do they go into it for the wrong reasons? Possibly some sort of hurry to partner up? I wish I knew. It seems that so many women don’t even like their husbands anymore. Do the husbands feel the same way? They’ve got to sense that something isn’t right.
Jackie, don’t count it out completely. In the meantime, keep doing what you are doing. You don’t need a partner to continue to grow.