Are Open Relationships Healthy?
February 4, 2008 by gayla
Filed under Relationships
Via Wikipedia: An open relationship denotes a relationship (usually between two people) in which participants are free to take other partners; if the couple making this agreement are married, it is an open marriage. The “open” in “open relationship” usually refers to the sexual aspect of a non-closed relationship, whereas “polyamory” refers to the extension of a relationship by allowing bonds to form (which may be sexual or otherwise) as additional long term relationships.
I’ve heard and read many arguments that support ‘open relationships’ that have ranged from “American’s put more stress on monogamous relationships than any other country” – to “humans are the only ones who practice monogamy”.
It’s difficult for me to present any argument at all outside of my own beliefs and convictions where marriage and relationships are concerned.
Personally I believe in monogamy wholeheartedly. I enjoy the emotional bond between myself and my partner and feel it’s somewhat a sacred ground that should not be tread upon by anyone wishing to do harm or interfere.
However, for the sake of discussion, I am interested in hearing the thoughts of others on this topic.
Do you believe too much emphasis is placed on emotional attachment?
Do you believe people can love one person while having sexual relations with others with whom they don’t share a love type bond?
Do you believe men are more likely to desire open relationships but refrain out of sense of obligation?
What about women? Same argument?
This is one of those topics I’ve always found interesting to discuss simply because I find the way the human mind works and justifies different positions as such to be utterly fascinating.
What are your thoughts? Do tell.
Tags: open relationships, monogamous, monogamy, sexual relations, threesome, swingers
In a happy marriage there should be no desire for an ‘open’ marriage. I have never seen any stats to show that ‘open’ marriages survive. That would be interesting to see.
I used to think open relationships were better – but they don’t really work out that well do they? Not in my experience anyhow. I think you get smarter as you get older and realize being with one person can be fun too. Plus now-a-days open relationships are so dangerous. Too many germs.
I can see your points. I can’t imagine them ever working, but apparently there are some that do.
I have to think there may be stronger issues beneath the surface of those who believe they are the answer though.
I’ve seen plenty of relationships that work when it’s a open relationship. Personally, I prefer not to have one.
I have always thought of serial monogamy as being a very healthy thing. A le wikipedia,
“Serial monogamy is characterized by a series of long- or short-term, exclusive sexual relationships entered into consecutively over the lifespan.”
It is my experience and observation that relationships tend to deteriorate as time passes on.
I do think it´s a very American thing to place so much emphasis on an emotional bond when it comes to sex.
I know several very long and happy marriages where the couple goes to swingersparties, have threesomes etc. And certainly not just because the man wants to. Women have a sexdrive as well you know, many times stronger then the man´s.
The ironic thing is that these couples have an even higher emphasis on the emotional bond between them because thát is the determining factor of their faith and loyalty. Not a claim on the others body.