Are We A Nation of Professional Liars?

Can you say, truthfully, that you’ve never told a lie? Oh really…What about the time you told your family you couldn’t come to dinner because the dog was sick? Or, the time you hid your new dress in the back of your closet so your husband wouldn’t see that you’d been shopping on-line, again. Harmless?

How about the ones we tell “keep from hurting other’s feelings”: “Oh what a beautiful baby.” “No, I can’t even tell you have 3 cats in your house.” Funny?

But in the office, telling lies is usually about self-perservation and can be costly. And, according to a recent piece written by Andrea for Gannet News Service, — Most workers will lie to avoid confrontations.

• The lie can be as small as telling someone you like their outfit or new hairstyle when you hate it because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, or saying traffic made you late when, in fact, you overslept. It can be as significant as not telling your boss the paperwork that’s due today hasn’t been taken out of the envelope for fear of losing the account.

I’m not talking about the shame of Enron or spying lies, I’m talking about your garden variety, the ones we tell to cover our rear-ends…(although you can see how an office culture of lying can lead to an Enron, no?) or at the very least, distrust among colleagues.

My story happened while employed at a large bank in Manhattan. The people-pleasing part of me can sometimes get the best of me.

I was new, and wanted to impress the higher-ups…so, I did what any dope would do, I took on an assignment that was completely over my head. Everyone else in the department seemed to take on these Herculean tasks and get kudos and affirming nods from the top brass. What I didn’t know, was that they were “accepting” the responsibility and then farming it out…to overworked underlings.

This strategy does two things. It makes you look good in front of the boss at the start of the project, and it allows for a scapegoat if something goes wrong. Beautiful, right?

Those are the kind of maneuvers about which I have no clue. Never received those tools. So, I tried to do EVERYTHING myself, and in the process sabotaged myself. Anything that could go wrong, did: misidentified mailing lists, typos, wrong addresses, poorly written copy, abysmal internal meetings…you name it.

Why did this happen? Because I lied from the start. Had I said “I’ll manage this project, but I’ll need help”…I proably would have gotten the project done properly, and retaiined some self-respect…but instead, I ended up looking weak, clueless and distrustful.

I’m thinking the most reasonable way to avoid mix-ups, anxiety and damage to your career — is to be a stand up gal.