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Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Are You a Pinocchio Parent?

September 28, 2009 by Mary Emma Allen  
Filed under Parenting

Recently I read an article on Pinocchio Parenting, and it reminded me of one I read about white lies when my daughter was young.  That one made an impression.  So I’ve tried to keep it in mind while raising our daughter and more recently two grandchildren who’ve lived in our home for the past 14 years.

Image: sxc.hu

Image: sxc.hu

Do we tell our children not to lie, that it’s bad to tell a lie, yet they hear us telling “white lies” and even letting them do it for us?  In other words, do we have a double standard for what we say and what we do?

Are there gray areas, when the bald truth is too much for youngsters, when it will take more time than we have at the moment to explain, when it puts us in an awkward position?

However, what are we teaching our youngsters when we say we’re not at home when we are, when we even ask them to tell that to someone on the phone if the caller asks for us?  How can we scold them for white lies if we do it? 

The same might apply to what we say about others in front of our children.  For one thing, the youngsters often have no qualms about telling their friends, teachers and other adults that “Mommy said to tell Mrs.  A….she wasn’t home last night.  She just didn’t want to talk to that busy body.”  (Teachers frequently hear these spontaneous “truths” from students.)

What are your thoughts about Pinocchio parenting? ( The above article on Pinocchio parenting was interesting because of the various views, some even justifying the “innocent” lies.)

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