Are You Parenting in Two Directions?
April 3, 2009 by Mary Emma Allen
Filed under Parenting
Many parents are caring for children still at home while becoming responsible for their parents. They’re that “generation between” or the “sandwich generation,” who are parenting in two directions.
When I cared for Mother and Auntie, I had my dad and my uncle who needed assistance, too. Father and Uncle Al had physical problems but not dementia or Alzheimer’s. Mother remained my responsibility for eight years after the others passed away.
My daughter was grown and caring for her children. So, even though I helped with grandchildren, I didn’t have full responsibility, as many of you do with younger children at home.
The balancing act is such challenge that you do need others to support you, even beyond family members. Find support groups, both online and off. Attend workshops that will give you insight and information.
Above all, take care of yourself. Find some time for yourself. You must realize you are important and the balance of everything rests on you. Caregiving for parents, along with children, may not be a responsibility you sought, but it’s there.
Maintain a sense of humor. You’ll find those you are caring for generally respond better when there is laughter around. You’ll feel better for it, too.
Share with us here some of your secrets of coping.
Good insight.
Also, maintain the perspective that it’s better to be the one who is healthy and able to help, rather than the one that needs help.
Those who need help don’t really like being in that position.
Thank you, Katy, for stopping by Blisstree, reading my post, and sharing your thoughts. Yes, it’s important for caregivers to stay healthy so they can continue to help. I also agree that often those who have Alzheimer’s/dementia are frustrated because they need help. They would rather be independent than dependent.
Hi Mary,
I’ve been having a very difficult time for about four to five years I’m in my early thirties and am taking care of my mother who has numerous health problems and I’m blogging on my blog site at http://lucygivemeabreak.blogspot.com/
but finding it very hard to get anyone to comment and give helpful suggestions or even words of encouragement, can you suggest how I might get either more traffic to my blog or encourage people to comment any one whether positive or negative would be just helpful to hear from, to show either I’m being selfish or what I’m feeling is normal.
Thank you,
Pamela, Struggling in AZ