I have been divorced for almost 17 years. It’s been 12 years since there was any sort of unresolved anything between my ex-husband and myself. That is a lot of years. In that time our kids have grown and we’ve reached middle age. In that time he remarried, had two more kids, and is now getting a divorce. Shouldn’t all that time and life experience allow us to be friends? 

Apparently not, because I tried to contact him the other day to discuss an issue with our oldest daughter – the first time I’ve ever reached out to him – and he ignored my attempt. Why? The only answer I can come up with is that he has no interest in becoming friends. I’m frustrated, because I feel he has insight that could really help our daughter, but I also feel sad for him. He’s going through a tough time and I’m a pretty good listener, a good friend.

If you’d like to reconnect with an ex, if you’d like to build a friendship, here are a few things to consider:

*If your relationship was casual, rather than serious, it will probably be easier to connect on a friendship level.  If it was a casual relationship, then there is probably very little resentment and resentment is one of the things that makes friendship with an ex so challenging.

*How did you end? Was it on a bad note?  Was it mutual? Was there cheating involved? If this person was a bad boyfriend/girlfriend, then they will probably not make a very good friend. 

*Is this person someone you want to be friends with or are you actually trying to rekindle something else? If you are looking to rekindle, be careful.

*What do expect from a friendship with this person?  In the case of my ex-husband, I was hoping he’d finally help parent our child, I was hoping we could support each other in the parenting. In the case of another ex, I wanted to be friends-friends. I missed him. He was a sweet, funy boy and I respected that he had grown into a good man. Who wouldn’t want a person like that as a friend?

Image credit: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Can You Be Friends With An Ex?

What songs are considered the most romantic?  Who decides what is on the list?  I was just looking at a list of  Top Love Songs and it goes like this:

1.  Always by Atlantic Starr
2.  In My Life by the Beatles
3.  We’ve Only Just Begun by the Carpenters
4.  Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker
5.  Then He Kissed Me by the Crystals
6.  Chapel of Love by Dixie Cups
7.  I Do (Cherish You) by 98 Degrees
8.  This I Promise You by NSYNC
9.  Fields of Gold by Sting (I love this one)
10. Almost Paradise by Ann Wilson and Mike Reno

What do you think of this list? My sister’s song isn’t on it. None of the songs that I associate with past romances is on it. My list would go a bit like the one below and it’s in more or less a chronological order, because I will choose no favorites.
*Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Cindy Lauper
*If This Is It by Huey Lewis and the News
*Everybody Wang Chung Tonight by Wang Chung
*Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins
*I Can’t Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon
*Janey’s Got A Gun by Aerosmith
*Angel by Aerosmith
*Dreaming With a Broken Heart by John Mayer
*Slow Dancing In a Burning Room by John Mayer
*Swing Life Away by Rise Against
*Use Somebody by the Kings of Leon

I could put the whole John Mayer Continuum album on there. I spent a lot of time on the road during one of those romances and it played over and over throughout the drive. (No surprise that Bay has no appreciation for John Mayer now).  Lots of Corinne Bailey Ray then, too.

Some of the songs on my list are not what most people would consider happy songs or romantic songs (Janey’s Got a Gun??), but they are tied to special memories, both good and bad, and that’s all a part of romance.

What would your list look like? Please share it.

Image credit: Amazon.com

Post from: Blisstree

The Playlist Of Your Love Life

 I grew up with divorced parents who remarried and then divorced, then divorced again. My earliest memories are full of divorce, not marriage. I think that in some way that led me to think that nothing lasts forever. My grandparents were married. My Aunts and Uncles were married, but I was focused on my own family. Mom and dad got married and divorce.

Divorce is not necessarily on the rise and divorce rates are not necessarily higher than they’ve ever been. The report that I read mentions that changes in the population are not noted when divorce rates are mentioned. An example would be the time during the Depression, when people could not afford divorce, so instead of taking care of things legally men would just leave, they would abandon their families. Marriages would, in the true definition of the word, end but they would legally still exist.

A time that might show a high rate of divorce would be at the end of World War II, when men returned from war to brides they didn’t really now. 

Another interesting point…

Most divorce figures in the U.S. are estimates. Several states don’t count how many divorces they have – including California, which stopped counting its divorces years ago.
 
Contrary to popular belief, which focuses purely on the divorce rate, the fact is actually that the real growth in divorce seems to have finished – there’s been a slow decline and leveling off at the end of the Twentieth Century. Of course, divorces are still much higher than they were in decades past – but then, a wedding that doesn’t end in divorce will last decades longer than a wedding from the past, because we’re living so much longer.

You can read the rest of the report here. I know that divorce is not a happy subject, but it could be something that has been misrepresented or misunderstood and I find that very interesting.

Image credit: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Are Divorce Rates Really Higher Than Ever?

The Sustainable Table website offers up information on what foods are in season in your area, where Farmer’s Markets are located, Food Co-ops, shopping guides, and a rBGH-free Dairy map. In addition to saving money, enjoying healthier and better tasting food, eating food that is in season and local helps the environment.

By purchasing local foods in-season, you eliminate the environmental damage caused by shipping foods thousands of miles, your food dollar goes directly to the farmer, and your family will be able to enjoy the health benefits of eating fresh, unprocessed fruits and vegetables. Buying seasonal produce also provides an exciting opportunity to try new foods and to experiment with seasonal recipes. And it simply tastes better!

I shop the Farmers Market in my area regularly. In addition to finding fresh produce, I’m also able to find locally grown nuts, honey, breads, herbs, and plants.

While I’m there, I also pick up homemade tamales. Tamale breakfast is a favorite of my family.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Why It’s Good To Eat Seasonally

For more event ideas, take a look here.

*Event: Super Special Halloween Celebration with the Jackpot Band
*Date: Friday, October 30th, 2009
*Time: 7pm-11:30pm
*Location: Gladieux Meadows, 4480 Heatherdowns, Toledo, OH, 43614

This dance will mark 27 years of Halloween singles dances for the Glass City Singles.

*Event: Lemondrop Halloween Singles Dance
*Date: October 31, 2009
*Time: Begins at 7:30
*Location: Hilton Irvine, Orange County Airport, 18800 MacArthur Blvd., Irvine. 949-378-6600

Take a look at the Lemon Drop Club website for information about this event and several others in the Orange County, California area.

*Event: North of 40 Halloween Singles Dance
*Date: October 31, 2009
*Time: 8pm-12am
*Location: 154 Tedesco St., Marblehead, Massachusetts

Singles dance for singles over 40. There’s going to be a Halloween Costume Contest with a $200 prize for Best Costume.

Image credit: Costume Kingdom.com

Post from: Blisstree

More Halloween Events For Singles

They are 3 inches high, with a 2 1/4 inch diameter. They are carved from cherry wood. Each cutter is handmade and one of a kind.

Cherry is abundant in North America which explains its notoriety defining such America styles as Shaker and Mission woodwork. Classic and rich, cherry is a yellow wood that deepens to a mahogany color when exposed to sunlight. Although it is a traditional wood, cherry offers a feeling of distinction with its wave-like grain and fine texture.

Biscuit Cutter Cherry
$14 (for one)

The biscuit cutters are also made in maple. These would make a great gift, especially for someone who is knew to baking, or as something to pass down to your kids someday.

Image credit: Wood Elements at Etsy

Post from: Blisstree

Heirloom Quality Biscuit Cutters

*Quiz: Are You Way Too Obsessed With Your Ex?  Some guys (or girls) are hard to forget, but nobody wants to be stalkerish. See how you are doing with this quiz.

*Quiz: Are You Good-Girl Hot or Bad-Girl Hot? The quote with this game is “Are you so bad, you make the Rock of Love girls look good?”  Are those girls hot?  I always thought they looked more sad than hot.

*Quiz: Can You Keep A Guy Intrigued?  I think that depends on the guy, but you can test your intrigue-ability with this quiz.

*Quiz: Are You A Closet Commitment-Phobe? Are you a single-girl through and through?

This one is about your relationship with female friends. Is your friend your friend or your “frenemy.”  Isn’t it sad that there’s a word that describes that sort of person?  If you’ve got a “frenemy,” move on. Nobody needs people like that in their life. 

*Quiz: Is Your BFF Really On Your Side?
Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Quizzes: Sex, Intrigue, Frenemies

It’s made from recycled wood and it’s a very unique accessory for the kitchen. I keep my Kosher Salt in a little glass bowl close to my stove. Twice I’ve knocked the little glass bowl to the floor. What a mess - glass everywhere. That would never happen with this gorgeous piece.  It’s a tool that is also art.

This spice block is so sexy, we want to store our jewelry in it! A beautiful way to present your favorite herbs for a meal or keep it in your kitchen for a little countertop chic. Of reclaimed mahogany wood with a food safe finish. Made in Brooklyn.

Spice Block – $48

The Spice block measures 9″ x 3 1/2″ x 2″. This would make a great gift, too.

Image credit: Green With Glamour.com

Post from: Blisstree

Green Kitchen: Recycled Wood Spice Block

My oldest daughter loved this soup. I hope your family enjoys it, as well. If you try it with variations, please share your ideas in the comments.

Chunky Minestrone

*4 slices bacon, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
*2 TB olive oil
*1/2 onion, chopped
*2 celery stalks, chopped
*1 carrot, cut into small rounds
*4 cloves garlic, minced
*1 can stewed tomatoes, 16 ounce
*2 cups beef stock
*3 cups water
*1 can kidney beans, 16 ounce
*3 cups cooked pasta, I used corkscrews
*1/4 cup Basil, chopped
*1/2 cup grated parmesan

1) Cook bacon, drain off excess grease.
2) Add olive oil, onions, celery, saute all.
3) Add carrots and garlic, saute.
4) Add tomatoes, beef broth, and water. Put a lid on and heat to boiling, then reduce to simmer for 45-60 minutes.
5) Cook pasta in a separate pot, then drain.
6) Add beans, pasta, then salt and pepper to taste. Heat for an additional 20 minutes.
7) Serve topped with parmesan and chopped Basil.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Chunky Minestrone

Soup, By the editors of Cooking Light magazine
Online price $14.36

Ah, the comforting allure of soup, as brought to you by the creative experts at the Cooking Light Test Kitchens. With 56 easy-to-follow soup recipes, this new cookbook is as beautiful as it is practical; a handy reference for delicious recipes that are nutritious as well as satisfying.

Love Soup: 160 All-New Vegetarian Recipes from the Author of The Vegetarian Epicure
By Anna Thomas
Online price $18.36

… Thomas (of the Vegetarian Epicure cookbooks) presents 160 new and enticing recipes that may just charm even a die-hard carnivore. Soups are organized by season and range from hearty selections like rustic leek and potato, and minestrone for a crowd, to lighter summer options…

This last book features recipes from well-known chefs like Charlie Trotter, Cat Cora, Emeril Lagasse, and Tyler Florence. The recipes were compiled by Alan “Battman” Batt. Battman has been photographing food for almost 30 years.

Soup: Recipes by 108 Chefs from the Simple to the Complex By Battman

From the traditional Split Pea to a innovative Popcorn Soup; a Lobster Fennel and Corn Chowder winter warmer to a summer Minestrone … a recipe for every taste, season or occasion.

Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com

Post from: Blisstree

3 Cookbooks For Soup Lovers