What is intimacy? Is it sex? A kiss? Laughter? A squeeze of the hand? Or is it something more than that? Those butterflies in your stomach when you’re going out on a first date…or the surge of excitement right before the doors open at the airport and your eyes search to find your lover is standing on the other side..or the anticipation right after you say “I love you” for the first time and maybe/maybe not that other person will say it back? Image: stock.xchng Is that intimacy? I think intimacy is a lot of things, but I don’t think any of the above could be labeled as such. Sure, a lot of it is love. Some lust. Some just the general sense of newness that most of us crave throughout our lives. But intimacy to me... [Read more]

Last week, for the zillionth time, I ran into a situation where someone said to me “Please don’t tell anyone.” and I had to follow up with… “Can I tell Paul?” Usually people will laugh and say, “Of course you can tell Paul. I kind of expected that you would.” Image: stock.xchng But occasionally the person I am talking to will shake their head and be firm about not wanting anyone, even Paul, to know. I can’t stand that tug and pull between my friend and my spouse, who I very much do not keep secrets from. It would be so much easier if during the wedding ceremony and in the thank you cards, we all reminded our loved ones that this person we live with and hang out with all the time – yeah,... [Read more]

Paul and I can be real homebodies on the weekend. It really is nice sometimes to glance over at the clock, see that it’s 2:30pm and realize you haven’t done a darn thing all day. In the high stress, fast moving world that we live in…that’s a pleasure – almost a deviance! – that can occasionally be the perfect indulgence. Image: stock.xchng But at the same time, sometimes it’s just so nice to get dressed up and put your beautiful face forward for each other. For him. But mostly for you. Come on, it’s just so nice to be all spruced up and looking your best, isn’t it? No doubt, he will be delighted. But that should really be a given! You should spend the time putting yourself together to give... [Read more]

In short – the answer is no. I have heard women lament about how as soon as they got married, 5-20 pounds immediately appeared on their frame, as if a wedding band were a magnet for saddlebags and love handles. The same deflection is heard every Fall when a bunch of kids trot off to college and promptly gain “the freshman fifteen”. Image: stock.xchng No, your husband and your marriage are not making you fat. And this is coming from a woman who has probably put on close to twenty pounds since the wedding day! To be fair, the slide downhill probably started a year or two before the actual wedding, but never the less – in the last 18 months or so…the difference is noticeable, as much as I hate to admit it. Could I... [Read more]

How often do you find that your single friends come to you for advice, listen for a little bit, then continue making the same mistakes and dating the same guys you can’t stand? Yeah, this happens a lot. Granted, married women tend to either be the best at advice…or the absolute worst. Once that ring is on your finger, it’s really easy to forget how difficult dating is and that not every guy is the prince charming you have. Image: Newscom I try to keep these things in mind when a friend stops by and asks “what should I do?” It’s your opinion. Just because you are married, does not mean you have a graduate degree in relationships. Your opinion is valid, but it’s not truth or fact. Remember that much of... [Read more]