Remember those early relationship days? Staying up all night on the phone, talking for hours, getting to know the other person? It’s somehow pretty easy at that moment to forget all about your own sleep cycles and just go with the schedule that makes sense for right that moment. Image: Newscom It’s only the next day, when you’re yawning every five minutes that you remember how you’re not cut out for all nighters anymore. But after a while, once you have settled into a steady routine (ick, as much as I don’t like that word) it isn’t just about fitting sleep somewhere into your relationship. You have to reclaim a good night’s sleep and do what’s right for your own sanity and happiness. I sometimes... [Read more]

Paul and I were visiting a couple a few months ago who lived in a beautiful hi-rise condo. The place was absolutely gorgeous for many reasons…but my favorite aspect was the way the closets and bathrooms were adjoined to the master bedroom. His and Hers were right next door, but completely separate. There was this sense that it all worked together and were cozied up beside each other, but she could get ready in the morning without sharing any counter space, damp towels, or hair dryers. Heaven! Image: Newscom Right now, Paul and I share a bathroom. Thankfully, it’s a nice size bathroom. But back when we were still in a small one bedroom, we happened to find a unit that had two teeny bathrooms instead of one moderately sized one. The... [Read more]

Paul and I have been talking about work too much and felt like that whole ‘getting to know you’ thing had fizzled out a bit. Right, we’ve been together for nearly a decade…so maybe we’re expecting too much by still wanting some surprises and unexpected personality quirks to shine through..? Image: sxc.hu Maybe. But this discussion around what we have been discussing (work!) and the absence of much in the way of outside interests, prompted us to start our own little two person book club. It’s very exclusive. The only problem is that I will literally devour a book. Whereas Paul likes to take his time and approach each chapter in small doses. Nothing wrong with that…except when I’m long done with... [Read more]

Though this is a question that you might be able to ask your spouse when things are solid, I would not recommend raising this discussion during times that are even the least bit rocky. These words could easily be interpreted as the most loaded of questions. Image: stock.xchng But provided things are good, talking to your lover well after the shiny gleam of wedding day madness has worn away and you two are settled into married life about how you got here and what marriage means to you can make for a fun opportunity to get to know a little more about your “other half”. For me, marriage is about friendship. We’re more than just a couple, we are best friends in the entire world and actually really love spending time together. Marriage... [Read more]

Do you know the origin of mandatory blood tests before getting your marriage license? I had no idea, until I read in The Globe and Mail today that the primary reason was syphilis. My first thought was “that seems reasonable”, but then I thought back and tried to remember if Paul and I had one before we got married. I couldn’t recall, so I asked him – apparently, we didn’t. “Now, very few states still require a blood test,” she writes. “This testing has been phased out because syphilis was considered virtually eradicated.” It was also thought to be a burden on taxpayers because the screening targeted people in generally monogamous relationships, a low-risk group. Image: stock.xchng I can’t... [Read more]