In an essay in Sunday’s New York Times, Joe Blair writes about his son with autism, who spends hours flicking a leather belt along a dirt path, watching the sinuous wave he creates, perhaps in an attempt to summon up his own surf. Blair’s writing is honest and beautiful. He took his son to see Amma, the hugging saint. He admits he doesn’t talk to his son much. Perhaps, he says, he “asked” for autism by asking God for a challenge when he was 10. And maybe I too feel like I asked for autism by wanting so desperately, when I was young, not to be the same as everyone else. To live an ordinary life like millions of other people would be, I thought, a kind of death. Photo courtesy of Wonderlane (flickr.com) Living... [Read more]

We were in Chinatown on Saturday, where we often eat Vietnamese food, but since I was about to go on a restricted diet for a couple of days I got to pick, and I was craving Cantonese. It was a tough decision, because a Vietnamese restaurant was a lot more likely to have some grilled chicken-on-a-stick that Alex would eat. But homestyle Chinese favorites were calling, so we went to China Village, an ordinary but great place on Baxter Street. Since we’ve been forcing Alex to taste things at home, it wasn’t that hard to get him to try some crispy dumpling skin — and he liked it! He ate quite a few pieces. We moved onto an order of fried rice (diced pork not a hit) and and chicken with broccoli (sliced chicken fairly successful),  chicken... [Read more]

I’m very good at imagining non-existent things that would help Alex. Well, autism tax breaks should exist, that’s all I can say. But here’s something he could use, would probably like, and I’m sure does exist. A dance video. Alex has been jumping up and down, somewhat jerkily, when Elmo has dance numbers. I noticed this a few weeks ago on “Elmo’s Wild Wild West” when Mr. Noodle and his brother and sister are line-dancing. Alex has attempted his version — took me awhile to figure out he was dancing along. I noticed today that Alex has been rewinding to the dance parts of all his Elmo videos, and this evening he did something he’s never done before. He asked me to dance. So we danced together.... [Read more]

Halloween wasn’t this big a deal when I was a kid.  Sure, it was a very exciting few days while we planned costumes and imagined all the candy we were going to get, but it was never the season it now seems to be.  I’m not sure whether Halloween is so much on my mind Photo/Jill Cornfield because we’ve all become Halloween-mad, or because of the kids or because autism makes it a bit of a project.  Whatever the reason, I’m glad to find that there are literally thousands of tips online for surviving and even enjoying the day (or week or month). One Place for Special Needs likes to post lots of videos among its resources.  If, unlike our family, you’re lucky enough not to own your own DVD or video of “It’s... [Read more]

Halloween is the child’s New Year’s Eve, the mother of a friend of mine observed, and it’s true. A night starry with a number of significant points: unlimited candy, free candy, dressing up, roaming around, staying up late. Some kids spend most of the year anticipating Photo/Jill Cornfield Halloween, but mine don’t. Ned occasionally pipes up with a costume idea in July or wonders in September if it’s almost here, but he doesn’t stay on message for too long. And Alex, of course, ignores the whole thing until it’s time to dress up. It’s a good thing we make our own costumes in this family, because I don’t think Alex (a boy who refuses to wear any trousers but khakis these days, who for about... [Read more]