Just quickly to let you know that Marye & I are talking and working on things. She is tenacious, we had a long talk in a parked van on Saturday. She figured she had a captive audience.

We had our first Christian Counseling session yesterday and a coffee date afterward. Even after the counseling we are still on speaking terms. Nothing new, just the groundwork and our objectives.

Marye and I are committed to one another. That has not changed. It won’t change. As y’all know from reading our posts over the past eight months, we are committed and we are real.

Does that Make us Real Committed?

We have agreed to make progress and set small attainable goals for each of us to start off with. I am sure with the counselor there will be assignments and other goals to come.

So we are on this path, to travel to infinity & beyond, together.

Post from: Blisstree

As Were Were… to Where We Will Go.

This is difficult, though not as difficult as real life. I am sorry that I have not been as frequent here at MarriageActually as I should have been. This has been good, getting to know some of you as you would let us know you. To say that laying this down is easy is wrong. Doing this has been equally difficult as of late.

Things are not going well in Camelot. My armor is chinked and tarnished. And may need to be retired as well. I am no knight in shining armor and never have I proposed I was. It seems a horse of that white color that I have been unsteadily mounted needs to go out to pasture as well.

No, there is no Lancelot or Guinevere. No sordid affair. Nothing.

Unfortunately, as we have been transparent here on MA, we have had our marriage put under siege. Perhaps I have allowed it. I have heard that is was long ago. That is neither here nor there. It just is. I was under the delusion that things were better than they indeed are not. I remember that we have a great marriage. The best of anyone we know past or present. Except for one area. I presumed incorrectly and I apologize to you the readers here and mostly to Marye. For it is her that I have truly hurt and neglected. My idea of love is not the kind that makes up the fairy tales or any sort of romance novel. It is not hot, only a low simmer. But it has been steadfast and true. I have stumbled, tripped and fallen, but always gotten back up. I have not gone down for the count.

If this post seems self-centered and focused on Marc, it is. Because the failure of this chapter of Marrriage Actually and our marriage’s condition rests wholly on my shoulders.

I will miss posting, I wish it were different. Thank you for your continued prayers and support of Marye & I. I will miss y’all.

Blessings,

Post from: Blisstree

Fare Thee Well … Not Good-bye.

It was in Monterey, Ca. actually, to a fiery brunette soldier from Texas. She still has it, it may not feel like it to her right now. But, she does still have it. Somewhere in the fall of 1979, When I saw her, I was a goner. It has been a couple of times around the block and my heart still skips a beat. Perhaps lopes would be a better term. For the past couple of years it hasn’t felt like it has still been this way. I have had a problem.

I’m not going to be able to explain this clearly, but I want to try. My problems haven’t been with my beautiful bride of the past nearly three decades. They are me. and I don’t know if I can even fully understand. Because I am not a self-examining type of person. Now, There is an understatement!

What I am coming to understand is that I have lost heart over the events of the past two or three years. In my health, I Have had a battle. One after the other, but that isn’t it. I have had struggles with my career and my satisfaction with it. Still not it. I have lost part of myself in a number of facets in my life. Marye and I have struggled in our relationship and that is my fault. Unfortunately that isn’t all of it. And I don’t know the “All” of it. What I do know is that I haven’t lost heart. Elseways, I would have taken my life a couple of years ago.

I have lost my heart. It is still in God’s hands, but I haven’t a clue where it is. I have been looking. I have been reading and praying and I want it back. This is I guess what I have been futilely trying

to find the words to say. Maybe it is just numb from all of the prescription narcotic drugs that I am currently on. I am hoping and praying that in finding it and resuscitating it it will be right again.

Can I have it back now Lord?

So Kid, bear with me a little longer. I think I found it and I’m dusting it off,cleaning it up with the Lord’s help and bringing it back top life.

I love you and yes i want to talk. Maybe we can use the cards. You are worth it all!

me

Post from: Blisstree

I Lost My heart, South of San Francisco…

The Top Ten Somethings about Marye.

1. She’s Hot!

2.She can Cook!!!

3.She makes great looking kids!

4.She is great at painting(on canvas)

5.She is generous.

6. She gives everything her best.

7.She is an awesome teacher.

8.The girl can talk…(that’s why I’m a great listener)

9.She is creative.

10.Did I say she is Hot?

So to you out there reading who are wondering, I am the guy she was referring to in her post “sitting there shaking their head and saying how impossible it is…”

Yes, there are going to be times when the two of you are at odds with each other. Yes, that is putting it very nicely. But it might make a difference going back and looking at the list in those difficult times. Now if I can just remember where that post is…..

Post from: Blisstree

There’s Something About Marye

1. If you got something out. Put it away when you are through. That means in the correct place. Things had a orderly place to go. Toys in the basement toy shelf. Tools back in their place in the workbench. Bike in the shed or basement. Plates, food etc. were put in their place in the pantry. Your clothes in the dresser or closet if they were clean and in the clothes hamper if they were dirty.

2. Do what you have to do. Whether it was schoolwork or later work. You did it. And well, might I add. There wasn’t pressure to excel, but you wanted to do your best. Friends have mentioned either to me or I have heard indirectly that I have an incredible work ethic. My mom and dad, as well as my older brother have had an influence in that.

3. Help others as you are able to. Shovel their drive, mow their yard if they can’t. Stop and fix a flat for someone. And other ways as well. I grew up with several elderly neighbors and was taught to help them any way I could.

By the way we didn’t have the leave the room rule at home. Now in public it was different.

Those were the rules as I remember them at the Audet household back on Oak St. when I grew up, a long, long time ago.

Post from: Blisstree

Marc’s Rules, as I Remember Them

Whether it be Ward and June Cleaver or to the other extreme Harry and Sally. Who would make up your “Dynamic Dream Duo”?

It seems when we get married we have an idea of what our marriage is going to be. We dream of being like Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts and the chemistry they shared on the screen in several movies. Some might look to the couple in “The Notebook”. While others fight like Mr. & Mrs. Smith others might dream of the romantic comedy of Cary Grant and Kate Hepburn. Whatever ideal or blend of these, we start with the dream and sometimes are disappointed when it doesn’t play out like it does in the movies.

Some of you may have started with Mr. Right or and ended up with Jeffrey Daumer. Your life turns into a Nightmare on Elm St. Others may end up feeling like Ma & Pa Kettle. And a fortunate few find their knight in shining armor, sometimes he may be like the rusty tin man in the Wizard of Oz. His heart has been taken by the wicked Witch of the West. He was so wounded and each time part of him made better in metal, so he could earn the love of his life, but it rained and he hadn’t oiled, then he lost his heart. And in that, his love for the beautiful little munchkin girl he was trying to build a cottage and marry her was gone. Because of the witch, who hated him for his love that he had for the munchkin lass. Some may find the prince in Sleeping Beauty or Snow White.

Perhaps you are with Harrison Ford. Maybe she is your Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. What is your Dream Marriage? How does it turn out?

Is she your Princess Bride?

Post from: Blisstree

What is your “Dream Marriage”?

One Happy Couple. Aren’t They?

Seriously though, the bad joke was an extra. I only wanted to post the image from my archive. But, I couldn’t resist!!!

I was just reading a story about how we are becoming more for our spouse to love. Not neccessarily in a good way. Also that because as we all know lifestyles today and our eating habits may shorten our time together. Because of the oversized portions we eat or “supersizing” the fries and drink, we may be shortening our time with our love of our life. Marye & I live in one of the fattest states in America. The number of obese folks in Texas is approximately the total population of the Dallas / Ft. Worth Metroplex area.

I know that I am about to offend some if not many of you here. (And I am not saying any of this to anyone whom I love and co-exist.)

The article states as we know that being overweight can contribute to major health problems. Hypertension and other problems, not to mention the number of Disability placards the state of Texas issues because Weight issues have debilitated peoples ability to walk more than a hundred or two hundred feet without assistive devices. I swear, I see more people get out of cars/trucks in the handicapped parking places who’s main problem is they are morbidly obese. “If” they could and would shed some of those excess pounds, their ability to walk without pain would improve as well as their overall quality of life. Think about it and observe at the grocery store or even the store that “isn’t” (Wal-Mart). We don’t shop there. It’s better for America as well. They export more jobs than they create in America. but, I digress.

If for nothing else, think about it. If you are unhappy with your spouse and want to irritate them more. Lose the weight
so you can be healthier and antagonize them for many more years. You might even be happier! He or she may be too.

Here is the Story:

Post from: Blisstree

More to Love…But for Less Time. Here’s the Skinny on it!

A friend e-mailed me the video below and I had to share it with y’all.

Enjoy!!! Click on the link below for the clip.

male_and_female_brains

“Priceless”

Post from: Blisstree

Sometimes I Wonder…

Over this past however long it has been. I have been trying to re-find myself. What with the health issues, medications, side effects and other short comings. No pun intended, but my problems with sex, libido and desire for sex altogether. Then there is the Buy it & lie it crap.

I’m not analyzing my spending yet. Though I have gone over points that keep coming up from before I knew Marye. I have e-mailed with my brother about my parents and their marriage. Had I been deceptive and selfish with $$$ and other things along with a number of other things. His reaction was “WHAT’S Going On?”

So I had to go into details with him about the last few months as well as my spending “buying & lying” habits. So he is up to speed now as to why I was asking out of the blue.

I also have some new safeguards put into place with my friend Ray.

My being sick won’t be a crutch or excuse. I am working at pushing through some of the problems right now and hopefully we as a couple can work out the others. I have been able to reduce the amount of Fentanyl my body absorbs per hour. The dosage has been reduced 50 micrigrams per hour, since going on the Gabapentin in September. We have dropped it 25 McG for the past couple of months and I pray I can be off of it in June. The breakthrough pain killer will be next. Each step I pray & hope will bring back the Marc i used to be or at best the Marc that God wants me to be.

I am trying to get back to a regular work schedule and full-time at that. When I had my annual review a couple of weeks ago, I told The Home Depot that I want to work more hours and go full-time as my body physically permits.

My therapy, mountain biking is going okay. Matthew and I rode between 10 and 12 miles of some difficult trails on Saturday. Other than some tire problems and a couple of hills being too much for my legs. Okay, more than a couple of hills. I am trying to push and progress. I still have an area or two to start really pushing through.

Our sex life is one of them. And it is an important one. I need to get this one on track and soon, I know. It isn’t right. It isn’t normal. But, it is, and it needs to change soon. And it is.

Enough for now. My goal over the next few weeks and months is to become the Marc that God wants me to be as a Husband to Marye and dad to this “Mob of Minions” here at the house. I use that term “mob of minions” in love. They are more commonly known as our six fan-tabulous kids at home. They are great kids. My wife isn’t too bad either, unless that’s what I want,

Photo: Courtesy of Civil Defense Museum

Post from: Blisstree

Part of Where Marc Is At.

First off, I am sorry for my long silence here. In the past 60 days or so, I have managed to “booger up” my marriage in a major way.

First off with our love life in November after returning from Winter Camp with the boys I shut down.

I can’t to this day explain how, why or anything. I had intentions when we got home and it didn’t happen. I ended up shutting down sexually and this created havoc in our marriage. It has caused nothing but pain and insecurity in Marye. What is wrong with me? Why doesn’t Marc want me? And the list goes on…

In reality it is “What is wrong with me, Marc?” Why don’t I have the desire for Marye? Where is what little libido I had left gone to? I do not know what has happened to me and I still am at a loss. It is not what is wrong with Marye. I have tried to explain this and it does not make sense. (Throw hands up in the air)

Secondly, I have broken trust in our marriage. I have bought things for myself and lied about it. I did it at the expense of Marye and the kids. I have done it in the past and thought it was behind us.
Well, I blew it big time when I got my bike. Also earlier last year when I bought my muzzleloader just after losing my full-time job.

Now hear I am. I have created as major mess in our marriage and I am sorry Marye. I hope that nothing I said causes any more problems.

I don’t know where I am or who I am either, right now. And neither does Marye.   It really bites.

I am sorry…

Is there anyone out there who might know what where I am on the radar?

Image:SXC

Post from: Blisstree

Searching for my . on the Radar