A few weeks ago the 16-year-old went to a girl’s volley ball game to watch his “sorta girlfriend” play.

“Sorta girlfriend?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’re kind of going out, but not really,” he said.

Um, ok. Whatever that means.

Then the other day we were in the car and he was talking to the 14-year-old about some freshman that has a crush on him.

“I thought you already have a girlfriend?” I questioned.

“Who? Jessica?”

“Yeah. Isn’t she your girlfriend?”

“No. We just hang out. And talk on the phone. All the things you do with a girlfriend, but we aren’t dating. I’m waiting until I get a job and a car before I ask her out,” he said.

So talking on the phone every night, going to her volleyball games, hanging out at school, and going ice skating together is not “going out.” It’s not officially a relationship unless you have a car. Good to know.

Post from: Blisstree

Teenage Relationships

With the current economic states many college students are replacing their dreams of expensive 4-year colleges with cheaper community colleges.

Miley Cyrus’ tween years were “friendless, lonely and miserable” as she was bullied by mean girls.

One of the teens convicted of beating a fellow student and videotaping it for YouTube got 3 years of probation and 100 hours of community service plus she must write a letter of apology to the victim.

High School Musical’s Zac Efron got a stocking full of condoms for Christmas last year.

20% of teens have sent nude pictures of themselves electronically.

Kids who wear alcohol-branded merchandise are 1.5 times more likely to start drinking and binge drink than kids who don’t.

Kids who watch television more than 2 hours a day have twice the risk of developing asthma.

Mattel is creating a new tween Dora doll. She is thin, has long hair and moving to NYC.

Post from: Blisstree

Sunday Reading

We discussed how it may seem like a fun and harmless thing to do. Teens are trying to explore their sexuality. They are also trying to act grown up. And their hormones are raging. They are getting mixed messages from school, home and the media. Parents and school are trying to teach abstinence, but the media is forcing sexual messages down their throats. So sending naked pictures to a boyfriend/girlfriend seems like a very grown up and acceptable thing to do.

But sexting is often very harmful.

(1) Teens could be charged with possessing and/or sending child pornography…even though the picture is of themselves. If they are under 18 some law enforcement agencies are charging teens with child pornography in sexting cases. So teens need to understand the consequences and hopefully not get caught up in it.

(2) Teen relationships usually don’t last very long and often end badly. Sending a semi-naked photo of yourself to the current love of your life may be fun and playful today. But it could be an embarrassing mistake in a month. If the relationship ends badly may send out that photo just to embarrass you.

(3) The picture may accidentally get in to the wrong hands. I can’t tell you how many times I have accidentally texted somebody because I fat fingered the number. Or maybe the boyfriend wants to show off and sends the photo to just his best friend and tells him to keep it to himself, but the best friend doesn’t listen. Or maybe she leaves her phone unattended, somebody else goes snooping and send the photo out. Any number of things could happen that end up with your naked picture on the phone of everybody in the graduating class.

Teens think sexting is funny. And maybe even a little bit naughty. But it truly can ruin lives. A beautiful girl in Cincinnati took her own life because of the embarrassment and subsequent bullying after her nude photo spread throughout the school. What she thought was an innocent picture to her boyfriend turned out to be a very scary and heartbreaking experience for herself and her family. People she didn’t even know started harassing her at school, on the internet and even texting her messages on her cell phone. Don’t let this be your teen.

Post from: Blisstree

Educate Teens About Sexting

Last Sunday our instructor couldn’t make it to class so we decided to go roller skating instead. It has been 20 years since I’ve been roller skating. And it showed. I considered it a small victory that I was able to stay on my feet the whole 2 hours we were there.

Our kids were not so victorious. My 6-year-old declared he was done after just 30 minutes. He took off his skates and begged me for money for the video games for the next hour and a half. My 9-year-old son gave up about 15 minutes later. So roller skating was a big bust.

Today the school’s PTO had a Family Fun Night at the local ice arena. I wasn’t really looking forward to it. It’s been around 25 years since I’ve been ice skating. And I wasn’t even very good at it then. But I figured the kids would be done within half an hour and we could be on our way. I was wrong.

They love it. They stumbled all over the rink. They fell down several times. But they loved every minute of it. Apparently ice skating is activity of choice for the tween market. Their already talking about going ice skating over spring break.

Me? My butt is sore from the spectacular fall I took. My ankles hurts. My legs are throbbing. And I’m terrified at the thought of taking them ice skating again over spring break.

Post from: Blisstree

Ice Skating with Tweens

But there are some good things too. Like when I call my teenager who is upstairs in the kitchen and ask him to bring me down a glass of water.

Oh wait. We’re back to that lazy thing again. So anyway…

Today we were driving home when we passed some apartments near our house. My teen asked, “Are those apartments?”

I said, “Yes.”

“Well I should move in there after high school.”

“Why?”

“That way I’ll be close to you guys and I can come home to visit. Plus you can call me and be all like ‘hey can you come over and turn the channel on the TV?’”

Who taught this teen to be such a smart ass?

Post from: Blisstree

Teaching Sarcasm

We can use lessons from the workplace to help teens with homework.

A new study found a link between degrading lyrics and teen sex.

Teen obesity is just as deadly as teen smoking.

R-rated movies are prompting teens to smoke.

Today’s teens are volunteering, even more than working part-time.

Teenagers addicted to the internet may have more aggressive behavior than teens without the addiction.

Teens and young adults are concerned about finances and expect to cut back on items like electronics and snacks.

Need some tips to help your high school student overcome an eating disorder?

Kids are giving up social networking sites for Lent.

In the U.S. young people from 15- to 24-years-old spend less than nine minutes a day reading for pleasure.

Pimps are recruiting young girls on social networking sites like MySpace.

The debate on lower the drinking age continues to rage on.

States are cracking down on the “cool parents. About half of the states have introduced social hosting laws to discourage (and severely fine) adults who supply alcohol to teenagers.

A defensive driving school helps prepare teens for potential driving hazards they may not have encountered in regular drivers ed.

Do parents really not matter when it comes to raising kids?

But if parents do matter, here are some tips on keeping close ties with your tween or teen.

The gloves are on. In this corner Disney. In that corner Nickelodeon.

Did you catch the Jonas Brothers on Barbara Walters Oscar special. They talked about everything from success to failure, diabetes, and dating.

Post from: Blisstree

Sunday Reading

My first thought was to keep it to ourselves. We don’t subscribe to the paper (we just read it online) and, like many 16-year-old boys, my stepson rarely watches the news (unless it’s a required assignment for school). Plus his aunt has a different last name then we do so most people won’t make the connection. And I also kind of hoped his mom would talk to him about it since it’s her sister.

But the more I thought about it the more I wondered if we shouldn’t discuss it with him. We are the custodial household. And there are people who know their relationship and may ask him about it. Wouldn’t it be best if he hears about it from us? Wouldn’t it be best that we open up and answer any and all questions he may have (although we know very little about it)?

I think part of my apprehension comes from her being part of his mom’s family. On one hand I don’t want to bad mouth that side of his family. On the other hand I want to protect him. So then I have to stop and think, if it was my sister would I tell my kids about it? And I honestly don’t know what the answer to that would be. I’ve never been in this situation before.

What would you do?

Post from: Blisstree

What Would You Do?

On the flip side, we eat. And we eat a lot. We eat out at places that serve grease and fat with a side of food. We eat huge portions. We eat fattening foods. We eat for comfort. And we pass these habits on to our children.

These are things that can push a teenager in to an eating disorder.

As parents, what can we do to help prevent eating disorders.

• Never criticize your child for his/her weight. No kid wants to hear “wow, your butt is sure getting big” or “that shirt’s a little too tight and is showing your muffin top.” Instead make positive comments about his/her appearance. Kids get enough teasing at school. They don’t need it at home.
• Surround your family with positive people. If you have family or friend who are very critical of your appearance then cut them out. If you can’t cut them out completely (you still need to spend some time with your mother) then cut back on the time you spend with them.
• Be a good role model by wearing clothes that are comfortable, fit you well, and make you look good and feel good about yourself. Nobody feels good in a pair of jeans that are way too tight. Go up a size bigger and find jeans that accentuate your good features.
• Discuss the social media messages with your kids. Ask your teen what he/she thinks about a sexy ad you just saw on TV or the criticism of “fat” celebrities. Get their opinions. Share yours.
• Talk to your teens about eating disorders. Do they understand what an eating disorder is? Do they know about healthy diets (eating the right foods and proper portion sizes) versus unhealthy diets (skipping meals, bingeing and purging)?
• Set good eating habits by serving healthy meals and snacks. Talk to your kids about the benefits of carrot sticks or an apple over Oreo cookies or candy and soda.
• Encourage your children to be active. Get them on their bike or have them walk to their friend’s house instead of giving them a ride. Let them see you exercise.
• Help your teen appreciate his/her body. Hand out compliments. Tell her she looks beautiful in her prom dress. Tell him you really like his new jeans.
• Promote self-esteem and self-respect. Encourage your teens to take pride in his/her work and accomplishments. Discourage gender roles (boys can babysit and clean house too and girls are perfectly able to help build that new entertainment stand).

As I said yesterday, there are many causes for eating disorders. But there are also a lot of things we can do to help prevent some of those causes.

Post from: Blisstree

Preventing Eating Disorders

The National Eating Disorder Association has some pretty shocking statistics:

• Around 10 million women and 1 million men suffer from an eating disorder and millions more struggle with binge eating.
• 80% of American woman don’t like their appearance.
• 42% of 1st thru 3rd graders wish they were thinner.
• Over half of teenage girls and almost a third of teenage boys have tried unhealthy ways to stay think, including fasting, skipping meals, and vomiting.

Of course eating disorders have a lot to do with food, but they often stem from issues that go way beyond food. Many things can trigger an eating disorder, including psychological issues, environmental concerns, social aspects, and possibly genetics. This includes things like:

• Low self-esteem
• Depression
• Loneliness
• Family and relationship issues
• Teasing and ridicule about weight
• Physical and sexual abuse
• Societies obsession with being thin
• A family history of anorexia/bulimia

So what if you suspect your teen may have an eating disorder? What signs should you look for? Some symptoms of eating disorders include:

• Skipping meals
• Making excuses to not eat
• Frequently weighing themselves
• Excessive exercise
• Eating to the point of discomfort
• Unhealthy focus on body or calling themselves fat
• Constantly using the bathroom after eating
• Hiding empty food containers

An eating disorder can be very difficult, if not impossible, to overcome on your own. If you think your teen is in trouble reach out to him/her. Talk about your concerns. Consult your doctor for help. Get a referral for a mental health provider who specializes in eating disorders. Your intervention can save your teens life.

Post from: Blisstree

Understanding Eating Disorders

The MyKey will be standard on half of Ford’s cars in 2010, starting with the Ford Focus. The other half of their cars will be equipped with the MyKey by 2011. Unfortunately you cannot add a MyKey to an existing car. The brains behind the MyKey is actually the software installed in the vehicle. Not in the key. So only new cars will have this new technology.

You can have up to 4 keys. All of the keys look the same so a teen doesn’t have to be embarrassed by some special key that draws attention to the fact that they have a MyKey. At least one of the keys is the admin (parent) key. That key is used to turn the MyKey features on or off and change any settings. When the admin key is used you can view the MyKey odometer. So you will see how many miles your teen is putting on the car. And if it says 0, when you know your teen was driving, then it’s likely your teen “borrowed” your key to hide how many miles he/she drove.

The MyKey allows parents to control the volume of the radio, encourages seat belt use, and monitors and controls the car’s speed. Each feature can be turned on or off independently.

• Volume control: If this feature is enabled the radio cannot be turned up more than 44% of full volume. This allows the teen to hear traffic noise and stay alert.
• Seat Belt reminder: When this feature is enabled the radio is muted and a message displays on the dash reminding teens to “buckle up.” They cannot turn up the radio until their seat belt is on. This applies to the driver and the front passenger.
• Monitor speed: If this feature is enabled teens cannot go over 80 mph. Eighty may seem high, but it is the fastest legal speed limit in the United States. Parents can also set the system to chime whenever the car hits either 45, 55 or 65 mph. Along with the chime, the dash will display a message that says, “Check speed. Drive safely.” The goal is to help teens make good decisions about their speed.

Ford polled some teens to see how they would feel about the MyKey. Apparently kids don’t seem to bothered by it. As long as they get to drive they don’t mind a few limits, some chimes and dashboard messages. Plus, according to Ford, insurance companies may start to give discounts for families with MyKey cars and kids are motivated by the cost of insurance.

The MyKey is kind of like having a parent in the car reminding teens to wear their seat belt, watch their speed and turn down the radio. And hopefully it will help reduce teen’s risky behavior when they are behind the wheel of the car.

Post from: Blisstree

Ford MyKey Questions Answered