Autism is just a label for kids who need more parenting…….
December 31, 2006 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
She [Mary Eberstadt] argues that attention deficit disorder and even autism are not real diseases but rather labels that a too busy society puts on kids who simply cry out for more parenting.
Says today’s The Southern Illinoisan about the book Home-Alone America: The Hidden Toll of Day Care, Behavioral Drugs and Other Parent Substitutes (1994) by Mary Eberstadt. The Southern Illinoisan notes the recurrence of the refrigerator mother theory of autism aetiology in Eberstadt’s book and notes that she is “75 percent right in this book.”
But 0 percent right as regards autism.
Good grief! Is it destined to be a ‘best seller’?
Cheers
Well I think that it might be possible for a child to be misdiagnosed with Asperger’s because the parents didn’t spend enough time with the child to teach them proper manners/social skills.
But as far as developmental autism goes I find the theory to be very unlikely.
Noted the “bad parenting” theme in some other books I glanced at over the weekend, including one called The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children by Robert Shaw.
I have not read Kristina Chew, PH.D’s book, nor do I plan to. Perhaps she should spend time around kids with autism and their families before shooting her mouth off.
Thanks for reading here—-what is your experience with children with autism? Are you a parent?
I think the commenter misunderstood this post — Kristina didn’t write the book she’s referring to here, she is just remarking on it.
I am a stay at home mom, and have spent every waking moment with my daughter since she was born, she is 4 now. She was diagnosed with regressive autism at the age of 2 yrs and 9 months, I had a feeling that something was wrong when she was 2, we went to mommy and me twice a week and she would never interact with anyone but me. The peditritian told me when she was not to worry that all kids development differently, he confirmed my suspisions 9 months later. I am a great parent…
Thanks for commenting here, Melissa—how is your daughter doing now? I have spent so much time to Charlie that I always keep turning around and reaching for his long-fingered hand when I am by myself.
I’m afraid my mom might be one who thinks like this. Lack of parenting, lack of discipline. “Look at so-and-so’s child. She has autism and they are so well behaved. They came to the office with her and didn’t say a word!” This is not my son. And we don’t have half of the behavior issues that other parents deal with. I just don’t know what to say to her.
It seems to me that any time the “comparing to other kids” game is being played there are other, bigger, issues than the child or their behaviour. I tend to joke about how I have my extended family “well trained” when it comes to voicing opinions about how we’re raising Brendan, but the truth is that they keep their mouths shut due to a combination of respect for us & strong boundaries that we have put in place over the years. The boundaries are clear messages that we are doing our best & have the best help we can find, & that we love & respect our child for who he is. Nobody bombards us with the latest autism “cures” because nobody in our extended family feels Brendan needs to be “cured”. I hope you mom will come to an understanding & appreciation of your hard work, Jenni!
My first thought when I read this blog was that Dr Rimland has only been gone about a month and someone is already trying to resurrect Bettleheim’s theory, but then I realized this book was written in 2004 (three years ago)! Parents expend far too much energy entertaining the “would’ve-could’ve-should’ve” “maybe it’s my fault” thoughts/fears. The last thing we need is another outsider (Eberstadt) telling us that our child’s autism is all our fault! Throw this book in the fireplace because that’s about all it’s good for.
It’s not the only book I’ve seen that recasts those old theories.
I saw this book in my local library last year. After a quick look-through, I hid it behind some other books. Yes, I know that was a juvenile thing to do and that in the end, I just made more work for the librarians. But I thought the world would be a better place if that book was seen by one less person than it would have been otherwise.
As I recall, Eberstadt is connected with one of those conservative think tanks that Hillary Clinton once described as the “vast right-wing conspiracy.” Which is why Ebertadt makes her claim about autism: If you can prove that there’s no such thing as a developmental disability called autism, then there’s no need for early intervention, special ed, or any of those other services that conservatives would rather not spend money on.
In this way, she is like Thomas Sowell, another right-winger, who wrote that book about ‘late-talking children.’ Slightly different claim — for Sowell, it isn’t neglect that causes this condition mislabled as autism, why it’s just a natural variation, some kids just start talking later than usual. But again, the upshot is that there’s really no such thing as autism. For Sowell, all these programs focusing on autism are just stealing his money through taxes so some so-called do-gooders can use his money to pay themselves with.
My 11 year old son is autistic. His sister (7) is not. Both Eberstadt and Bettelheim are incapable to explain why one child has problems and a brother or sister or even sometimes an identical twin under identical parenting conditions does not…. So much for such humbug! I agree with the right wing theory. These people would gladly foster “causative self-responsiblility” for parents of disabled children. I would really advise them to read more and write less…
I worked with children with Autism when I was in high school (Oh do many years ago). My heart goes out to any parent of an autistic child that has to read such stupidity this books is putting out there. Some of the most tentative parents I have met, had autistic children.
I believe this rhetoric is all about the money and the politics as stated above. Don’t let the turkey’s get your goat!
Just Parenting about!
Christine
http://www.PassionParent.com
I work with an autistic boy, and I treat him as if he were a typical boy. And he knows what I expect from him, he does it and he’s happy. There’s other people who feel sorry for him and they give in to every whim he has (debilitating/cripling him even more) and he knows who those people are. And he likes being around those people. Now, he is mentally delayed, but you don’t have to be smart to have good behaviour. It IS about good discipline/parenting. So, those people who say “you don’t know how it is to live with an autistic person”, complaining on and on and on and making their lives complicated by not being able to stand up to the kid… I feel sorry for them (not for the kid). I dare to say this because I can see what a difference it makes to expect something and get something in return. Most parents think that if they don’t correct, discipline, rebuke, scold, they are not loving, and they are so concerned about being liked by their kid that they cripple the kid. That’s not to say you shouldn’t show affection/positive attention, but also give consequences and when they are due. Just like with a typical kid. IT WORKS!!!