Comments on: “Autism’s Angels” and a “hidden, dark thought”

By: Katie Oury

Katie Oury — Wed, 20 May 2009 23:54:57 +0000

You are so right!! Well said! I love my beautiful, handsome, sweet son for just what he is. I will always help him and be here for him any way I can and so will his Dad. Thanks for you great post.

By: Kassiane

Kassiane — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 07:09:19 +0000

I don’t understand how there is more than one way to take “I want my kid to drown in yonder pond”. That statement is not open to interpretation.

By giving birth to an autistic child, you did not get automatic sainthood. All parents give stuff up. Having “secret dark thoughts” about NT kids isn’t acceptable, so why on earth is it acceptable about us? Because society mamas made it so, that’s why.

It’s crap is what it is.

By: Kristina Chew, PhD

Kristina Chew, PhD — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 06:22:03 +0000

Yes, parents give their 110%–I was just talking tonight about what might happen to my son after we are not here. But I hope he will live as long as he might be allowed and I hope we might be able to change the world to make it better and good for him and your son and so many others. One hopes!

By: jennie

jennie — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 04:02:48 +0000

I do see everyone point here. And if you totally tell yourself that you are 100% ok with your child having autism you are not being true to yourself. I have given up sooooo many things for my 6 year old son. The fact that he has autism has nothing to do with that. Thats what parents do. But, to have a child with autism kills a huge part of you. The part that doesnt see the furture. You are forced to live inthe day. I would never want my son to walking to the pond. but i to pray that he passes from this earth before I. I worry everyday what will happen to him when im gone from this world. I just pray for him and others that live our life. Its a hard life of autsim and if you live it you understand exactly what Laura and Harry are saying. THey just didnt take the time to put sugar on it. To sweet’n up their thoughts. Of course if you say it out loud it always allow ppl to take it in all kinds of ways.

By: Autism Vox » Greek Myths and Real Tragedies

Autism Vox » Greek Myths and Real Tragedies — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 02:33:08 +0000

[...] Also recently, some autism parents have stated publicly that life with an autistic child is so terrible that they have contemplated killing their children, or thought a “hidden, dark thought,” that they sometimes hoped their child might walk into the pond by their house and end his suffering. It seems that saying that one has thought about killing one’s child has become a sort of “autism parent badge of courage”—a sign of one’s undying love and devotion to one’s child in the face of so much daily tragedy—a sign of one’s being an endlessly dedicated, passionate parent. [...]

By: Lisa Jean Collins

Lisa Jean Collins — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 20:22:47 +0000

Thanks for the .pdf file, Kristina. I just posted the article to Autieparents. ABFH was the one who told me you had it. You have done a great service here–you made it so that I and others don’t have to go out and buy the magazine!

By: Kristina Chew, PhD

Kristina Chew, PhD — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 04:37:11 +0000

“Surprised and tired”—that is how I feel, too, María. Surely Charlie struggles and suffers, but I need to “explanation” for “why did this happen to me?”.

All I need is Charlie and Jim, and our little family.

By: María Luján

María Luján — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 04:33:58 +0000

Hi
Like you, Ian, I am surprised and tired to be assigned to me thoughts about my child I never have had.I consider that if these thoughts are present, help is urgently needed; but trying to explain or justify them and , besides, consider them “common” to all of us is simply wrong.
There is no way to justify the unjustificable or to understand the ununderstable, and murdered feelings on the own child and consideration of them as “common” are attitudes that belong to these categories for me: unjustificable, ununderstable and , besides, non-true.
Beyond any kind of individual sense of desperation about autism in the own child or important difficulty our children can have,we must be IMHO and I try to be the best advocate for the dignity and the value of my son´s life, as intrinsic; of the importance of his existence and his potential as human being and nobody has the right to put this in doubt, with the assignation to me of extremely distorted personal views- in an attempt to validate them- with which I have absolutely nothing in common.
María Luján

By: Kristina Chew, PhD

Kristina Chew, PhD — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 03:59:41 +0000

Thank you, Ian–very well said!

By: Ian Parker

Ian Parker — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 03:51:12 +0000

Okay, I’m getting just a little bit fed up of people linking parents of autistic children to murder or murderous thoughts just because we have children on the spectrum.

There are enough issues facing parents of children with ASD already, without other parents insinuating that we’re all murderers in waiting. To those who feel this way, get help! But don’t try to justify or explain away your feelings by claiming that the rest of us share them. We do not!