Avoid These Classic Divorce Mistakes

As a divorced woman, I can honestly tell you that when going through a divorce you are not at your best. It’s like the divorce takes over your brain and there’s no room left for things like rational thought or common sense. I saw a piece today at AOL Health, by Gabrielle Linzer and Christina Parrella, about mistakes that people make while going through a divorce.

Here are a few “slip ups,” that divorcing folk tend to fall into……

*Do not try to entice your ex back by being overly generous when divvying up your assests. I did not fall into this one myself, but I do remember my dad telling me that he signed over “everything” to my ex-stepmom one of the times that they divorced.

*Avoid showing off your new boyfriend/girlfriend. Yeah, we know it’s a matter of pride as in, “Maybe you don’t want me, but someone else sure does,” but don’t do it. Better yet, give yourself some time before you jump into dating someone new. Your head is probably a mess and you will be doing yourself and any potential new friends a favor by waiting until you can concentrate on the future and leave the past where it belongs.

*Do not, I repeat, do not sleep with your ex. I suspect you will do it anyway, because everybody does. This is one issue that I have some experience with and it’s not an experience of the positive kind. It feels “safe,” but it’s a minefield. You need time and distance to get over a failed marriage. Getting naked together is nobody’s idea of distance.

*Your child is not a go-between. When I was a child I hated hearing this sentence, “Tell your father that his check is late.” Even as a little kid I knew it was inappropriate. I haven’t done everything right, but this is one thing that I never did – I never used my kids as a weapon.

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