Baby fat makes me – and the people who see me – totally Lulu

My friend Penny bought me a Lululemon. It’s some sort of fab gym wear. She’s from New Jersey and far more in tune to what’s hot than we in Alabama. She just gifted this to me for no reason, as sort of a motivation tool for me to get off this weight that’s slapped on to my body after birthing my baby (who, yes, is now 5) and my last milestone birthday and changing some basic habits like switching from margarine to butter and from water to wine.

I’m going somewhat regularly to my small, all-girl gym and – though I’m not a gym-class kind of girl – I’m taking body pump. The other mums there are sort of cliqued together because they have been taking the class with each other for a while. They all have muscles and lean bods to show for it and they probably worry that if they talk to me they might catch the cottagecheesethighs virus. So I’m cool with just being the quiet girl in the corner. I look a fright anyway. I wear the same look-a-fright black shorts and the same husband-shirt and maybe mascara. So the Lulu will be a welcome addition. I love that Lulu names its clothes like “be still pant” and stuff. I hope Penny sent me an ankle-to-wrist-to-neck body suit. I need everything to be still.

It’s not that I’m fat. The best word might be chubby, I guess. I’m not the size 2 I was two decades ago, or the size 4 I was just one decade ago. Even then I was still disproportionate. Bottom heavy, they call it. Just last week a man stopped me at the grocery store and said, “woo” (that was how he introduced himself to me), “you are built like a brick house,” whatever that means. I credit that to a misjudged bra size (confirmed by a recent bra-fitting) and going up a jeans size (for which obviously my entire community gave a huge sigh of relief with me and for me).

I am waiting by the door for the Lulu. When it gets here, I’ll let you know how it looks. Penny tells me she sent the falsie inserts with it and then said she wanted me to send those back, given my new bra-sizing that confirmed I’m not quite as disproportionate as I thought I was. (Yes, I alerted all my girlfriends to that!) The Lulu is supposed to inspire me to burn-baby-fat-burn. So keep your fingers crossed for me. I’ll be hooking up with Penny and four other of my sorority sisters, the rest of whom are scattered about the South, in May for our annual girls trip. So, I can’t disappoint. Once I get my Lulu, the pressure is on.