Back in the saddle again – again
Well, then. Let’s try this again.
Bereaved people sure are busy.
Bereaved people with kids going back to school and a father living on his own for the first time in a long time sure are busy.
Bereaved people with kids going back to school and a father living on his own for the first time in a long time, who also have more than one blog sure are busy.
What this bereaved person with kids going back to school and a father living on his own for the first time in a long time, who also have more than one blog needs to be doing is finishing thank-you notes. But, I digress.
Things are going well. My dad seems to be a little stressed, but, is otherwise OK. It’s hard to know what’s bothering him since it could be any number of things in addition to my mother’s death. He teaches high school, and, he has a new course this year. He’s the type that usually has all the materials for the entire year prepared by the end of July, so, he’s wigged out that he’s only got a semester’s worth ready this time.
But, things like this are hard to tell with him. Besides the fact that he’s a boy, he’s just hard to read. Before she died, I asked my mother to tell me where his owner’s manual was kept, but, she denied that there was one. So, I guess I’m on my own, here.
I was talking to my co-worker, and, I said that I was kind of concerned, but, that there’s not much I can do to change his worries. She replied, “There may not be anything wrong with him, you’re just looking for someone else to worry about.”
Yep, she’s probably right. I wonder if I should be worried about that? Kidding.
I’m deeply concerned over the lack of any kind of owners manual not being written – one would think that if they don’t come with them in the beginning they’d at least get around to making one up by the time they hit their 50’s. Hope the back problems are getting better.
Oh, Elizabeth!
I’ve been a terribly unsociable blogger lately, and I’m so sorry to hear about your mother passing away. What a blessing that you were able to be so near her during her last days.
I notice that we connected in the comments section of Mary Tsao’s Mom Writes blog yesterday, and I thought I’d pop in and say hello. What a shock to find your sad news. (I blog at Mom 2 Mom Connection and Lively Women, in case you’re wondering who the heck I am.)
Thanks for continuing to blog here — it can be stressful to be sandwiched between, and your blog offers hope to those who feel the need to breathe. God bless…
Owners manual?? Where can I get one?
Cas
Hang in there.
I want an owner’s manual for my dad, but I think it’s just a recipe book of all his favorite foods. Maybe I don’t want it…
I hope that your dad gives you less to worry about once school starts and his focus shifts.
Busy,
I just wanted to let you know how much we’ve appreciated all your writings about the trials of being a child who is a caregiver to your parents. It’s something that’s going to confront Cookie and me sooner than either of us would like to think about it. And we’ve learned a lot from you. Thanks.
Bob
Your Dad is lucky to have you… His going back to work will probably be good for him. And maybe for you too?
Good luck with those thank you notes. And I’m with Marie…I think your dad’s returning to work will be good for him. Hang in there…you’ve had (are having) a lot to cope with!
Not that there IS something to necessarily worry about with your father, I have to say I disagree with your friend and her interpretation.
Between my grandparents (which my mother took care of), and my mother since my father’s passing, one commonality I have noticed is that the remaining spouse typically develops this… I guess I will call it a desire (for lack of a better word) to “not be a burden” and tends to mask some things that they really could use help with. What that may be could be different for each person, whether it is having a shoulder to cry on, somebody to just listen when they need to “reflect” on the good times, or maybe somebody to help with the myriad of bills and such that the other person used to do, there always seems to be something that gets hidden and makes a tough situation even worse, just because they don’t want to “bother you” with it.
It is good that you father has school (work) to focus his energies on and that may very well keep him from seeming as needy as you may have initially expected, but I would say just keep an eye out for clues for when things may go amiss under the brave exterior.
I think just from reading your blogs that your dad is the quiet type and wouldn’t tell you if his head was on fire unless it was going to catch the house on fire too. I wouldn’t worry. Expect I do. And I know you will. That’s what we do.
You are still in my thoughts and prayers.
I don’t know your dad, but, don’t be surprised if he wants to date before long. Lots of men that age can’t bear the aloneness of losing a spouse and like a good friend of mine is in the process of doing, hook up and get married in less than a year after the wife dies. Some see it as disrespectful to the one that has died, but, I see it as they had a good marriage and don’t want to face the future alone.
Busy Grandpa may noteven be that type and I hope I’m not offensive even suggesting that.