Back to School Doesn’t Have to Mean Back to Ana
August 27, 2008 by angelique
Filed under Women's Health
The beginning of the school year is an understandably stressful time for students, parents, educators and even retailers. Unfortunately, all that stress can lead to one thing if you’ve spent your summer working on recovery from an eating disorder — relapse.
Really, relapse is common and to be expected in many cases of anorexia, bulimia and binge eating. After all, it’s tough to get rid of a habit, even an unhealthy one; how many smokers stay cigarette-free forever the first time they quit?
If you’re scared that you’ll slide back into Ana’s arms, congratulations — you’ve taken the first step toward ensuring you won’t! You’ve identified a trigger, in this case a return to an environment that is fraught with uncertainty, excitement, peer pressure, worry and newness. Naming your fears can absolutely help to overcome them. In fact, you might want take this process a step further and write down exactly what concerns you and why you’re afraid that back to school could interfere with your eating disorder recovery.
It’s worth a shot. Anything to make your life Ana- or Mia-free is worth trying.
However, it is easier said than done. I’m 21 years old, college student. I graduated High School in 2006. That summer I went away to a summer program at the college that I’d be attending in the Fall. Being in a whole new place can really trigger a lot of things, being away from your family & your friends, worried about fitting in, getting a good GPA especially when your parents are on your butt about getting a good GPA. I was in the 150’s when I graduated from HS, then I got up to about 160-ish(I’m only maybe 5 ft tall, small frame). I came home for 2 weeks in late August before going back to school for the Fall. Well you know pople say ‘a picture is worth a thousand words?’ well its true. One night I showing some of my gal pals some of my prom pictures, and one walked in & said ‘hey, whatcha doing?’ we’re looking at prom pictures! here, look. she looks at the computer screen & then says ‘eh, who’s THAT?’ one girl said, ‘that’s A from her prom back in 2005′ ‘thats not YOU, it doesn’t look anything like you!’ & yes I did have a scale in my dorm room & I actually joked with my sister saying ‘hey guess what? if i gain say like 15-30lbs more I can get a bipasy operation!’ it didn’t click into my head that I was indeed that big. When I went to get a new bra, & the size of the bra a 42D, I was between a 42 D/DD and then a friend of mine took a picture of me, in a bra & pants on. I couldn’t believe it. At that point I was between 178-182lbs. that was in Feb/Mar 2007. I’m now about early 130’s. My lowest was prom 116.6lbs.
also losing a friend & family member will trigger it as well. i’m not ‘ana’ or ‘mia’ but i do know that i still have an ED. perhaps ED-NOS
Yeah, school is definitely a trigger. But for me, so was the unstructured time of summer. (The free time made me worry I would get bored and overeat) Really, I think anything can be a trigger if you let it. Although I will agree that school has definitely proven to be a trigger for many. The mental health crisis on our college campuses is staggering. That’s part of the reason I started my blog (http://student-body.blogspot.com) Hope you take a look “A”!
Well, to be honest, I am really looking forward to start of my school year. New friends, new challenges and also new knowledge will enter my head…:)
keep up good work
Thanks Erin!
Thanks Mike!
A:
You are totally right — it’s not easy, never is.
It’s a one-day-at-a-time thing, and for those of us who are naturally impatient (or are worrywarts!), it’s exceptionally difficult to say, “Okay. I’ll just eat normally now regardless of the stress.”
Keep trying, keep writing and keep asking yourself the tough questions! Thanks for commenting!
Erin:
Thanks for passing along your site to “A”! It’s so real and bold; I love the fact that you hold nothing back!
Michal:
I’m glad you’re looking forward to it! Hope it’s the best year EVER!
hello i am ‘A’ the name is Ash