Banish the ‘f’ word in 2008

Around our house, no one uses the ‘f’ word unless it’s very selectively chosen. 

It’s never aimed at people when used as an adjective.  And when used as a noun, it’s done objectively and with no sense of good versus bad.

It’s heavenly and has created a non-judgmental atmosphere, at least between our walls.

Oh, wait a minute… you do know which ‘f’ word, right?

F-A-T.

That’s correct.  We as a family do not use that term to describe anyone.  We don’t even use “overweight” except on rare occasions. 

This banishment of the ‘f’ word started with a conscious effort between my husband and me to raise our son in an environment that focuses on the person within, not his or her outer shell.

Now, I didn’t grow up in a family like this.  My family (not particularly cruel, mind you) did use the ‘f’ word… a lot.  That girl was “too fat” or this guy was “so fat and gross”! 

So of course, when I started gaining weight during my late elementary school years, I looked in the mirror and saw FAT.  I didn’t see a cute little girl who just needed to get outside more often and replace bags of potato chips and candy bars with fresh fruits, veggies, and whole grains. 

Nope.  I saw a walrus.  A whale.  A horrendous specimen of flesh.

In that mindset, I started to hate myself.  I knew I was smart, talented, creative, funny… but none of that mattered. 

I despised myself because, in my head, the word “FAT” trumped all those other attributes. 

This was the beginning of a vicious pattern of self-loathing that landed me straight into the welcoming arms of Ms. Ana herself.

Even today, I have to remind myself that “fat” is just a word, just a term.  It can’t make me FEEL anything I won’t allow it to make me feel.  It only holds as much power as I give it.

Consequently, I think it’s a great idea to banish the ‘f’ word.  I certainly don’t miss it. 

And if you resolve to “lose the fat” (from your language, not your body) over the next 12 months, I guarantee you’ll be forced to reevaluate the way you view yourself and others.

My proudest moments? 

When my four-year-old son has no inclination toward describing an individual based on his or her appearance.  I can only hope that he carries this ability to see beyond the skin and into the soul throughout his life.  Now that’s fabulous (an ‘f’ word I wholeheartedly endorse.)