Being Fabulous Task: Buy Yourself Diamonds

Okay, I apologize for the long stretch of time here but I’m back on track with the Being Fabulous Series now!

For some reason, this holiday season I’ve been finding myself craving all these luxurious things. Expensive jewelry, gorgeous perfumes, high end makeup and beauty products. Could be because I’m finding myself more exposed to them since taking over The List Maven, but the reality is that it has a LOT to do with my last relationship.

As some of you know, I was with my ex for over 8 months, and he never once gave me a gift. Not even a card, flowers, nothing. Part of me feels this is my fault, because I explained to him in the beginning that I’m not a materialistically demanding woman. What I meant by that was that I wasn’t the kind of woman who expected her man to buy her expensive gifts. What I didn’t mean by that was for him not to buy me anything at all.

He’d told me that all his exes were materialistic. He’d said that they all would give him hell if he didn’t buy them diamond tennis bracelets or pay for their car payments. I was floored. But I think my reaction was a little too unbelievable for him, and he felt that he’d challenge it. Bottom line? I never once complained to him. Not even a little.

About a month ago, I went on a date with another Italian guy (something in there tells me it’s my own damn fault for being attracted to my own “kind”, haha) who had no qualms about pointing out my “cheap” jewelry. My jewelry isn’t like, dime-store cheap. It’s all sterling silver, some has gemstones, some has CZs… but I really don’t see it as “cheap”. A $40 ring or $25 pair of earrings… It was all stuff I bought myself, or received as gifts from family members. I never considered buying my own expensive stuff.

It all got me thinking. Americans especially are very hip to the “first impression”. I never thought before that guys would take note of something like sterling silver and CZs versus white gold and diamonds, and think that a woman wearing the former was “cheap” or easy to please. I’m starting to think that’s the case, though.

I know, the economy sucks right now. People are getting laid off or fired, they’re being denied raises or promotions, and things just all around suck when it comes to money, but I made a decision, and I want you to come to this realization, too.

Yep. That’s what I’m saying. If you’re a good woman, whether you’re single, in a relationship, or even married, you deserve to have things that make you happy.

I’ve chatted with some of my blogging friends about stuff like this, and even the married ones tell me that their hubbys don’t always (or sometimes ever) buy them nice stuff. I think it’s a sin that for some reason, women are conditioned to believe that we’re only allowed to have expensive jewelry or clothing if a man buys it for us. Ladies! What are you waiting for!?

I realize that this is a lofty goal for some. If you’ve got kids, they’re clearly your first priority. If you’re going through employment issues, this is clearly not the time for you to be slinging out cash for diamonds, and I sure don’t recommend charging it.

But I want you to make it a goal for yourself. Save up and buy yourself some really nice piece of jewelry, complete with at least one diamond (and maybe your favorite gemstone). Buy it for yourself, treat it like it’s your most precious, non-human possession, and love the fact that you’ve done something for yourself that you might otherwise have waited for a man to do for you.

My goal is to buy myself something really exquisite once a year. The holidays are a great time for finding deals on jewelry and otherwise expensive clothes. (Macy’s had $450 Marc Jacobs leather coats on sale for $150 the other day, and jewelry stores are selling loads of $500 pieces for $99 this time of year!) I deserve to have nice things, to make a nice impression (ie. “No, I’m not a cheap woman, and I’m not easy to please either, dammit.”) and to feel fabulous all the time, because hey, I am!

(Images: Lara)