Betting Your Love Life On His “Potential”
October 23, 2006 by gayla
Filed under Relationships
Via Christian Carter – Women don’t base their choices of men on how “nice” or “good” someone is to them day-to-day. Women choose the men based on a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And because of this ”attraction” some women will continue to put up with a guy that doesn’t treat them very well for months or even years. These women confuse the strong attraction they feel for the guy with a deeper “connection”. Women who do this are doomed to end up in failed relationships with the “wrong” guys.
To be honest, I can’t think of a single argument with this “mistake.” I know several women who make the same mistakes time and again. And to matters even worse – is to realize I was one of those “women” for a very long time.
My personal belief is - many women are caretakers by nature. And just as so many of us experience that “biological clock” ticking when our desire to become mother’s peaks out, women can often be drawn to men who “need” them for the very same reasons.
Many women define themselves by how well they take care of their boyfriend, husband, family… and in the process of finding their own definition, will lose sight of who they are and what it takes to make them happy.
While knee deep in the single scene, this was without doubt the single-most challenge I had to learn to overcome. Always drawn to the men who needed ME to FIX them – I lost myself somewhere along the way. It wasn’t until I’d entered a relationship that resulted in both physical and emotional abuse of both me and my children, that I realized that it wasn’t my place to FIX anyone! I had all the “mothering” I could handle right there in my kids.
It took my putting myself on a type of restriction and placing my children above ALL things for me to break the habit of dating the “wrong” guys. But there are those women who don’t have children to put first – so what might they do instead? Pets? Friends? Family?
Suggestions?
If you’re close friend were consistantly dating the “wrong” men, what advice would you give to perhaps help them to break the bad habit?
