Blankie = Matriarchal Hug
April 28, 2008 by Tracee Sioux
Filed under Parenting
I read an article in a parenting magazine saying parents should allow their boys to keep their lovie’s or bankies even up until 8 or 9. I’m going to send his article to my younger brother who’s in his 30s and his 3-year-old daughter is teasing him about his still-present attachment to his blankie.
He is in good company. Every one of my grandmother’s 42 grandchildren and 40-somthing great-grandchildren possess one of these almost-holy fabric hugs. Some, like my brother, wore them out with love and my Grandmother stitched them replacements.
A feminine skill passed from one generation to the next from my great-great ancestors, the women in my family have used quilting as both their artistic expression and a physical manifestation of a love.
I have a crazy patch quilt from my great-grandmother, passed through my grandmother. When my husband uses it to move furniture or dry muddy kids off I feel like my head might explode.
I realize it’s not as common for a woman of my generation to have sat in quilting circles – but I have – and I know the amount of physical labor and time that went into making that patch quilt.
To use that ancient artifact of my feminine birthright for such everyday tasks is an offense.
My son, Zack, has developed a possessive love for his own Choo Choo Bankie hand-quilted by my grandmother. When he drags it around, he reminds me both of the fictional Linus from Charlie Brown specials and my own little brothers when they were small.
His is baby blue satin on one side and I can tell he’s addicted to the soft smooth texture and the coolness of a fresh touch. He’s a baby and he understands his bankie is like a grandmotherly snuggle passed down from his maternal lineage. It makes him feel safe, secure and loved. He’s two, so maybe he only intuitively knows this – but I surely know this.
I’m convinced the tactile recipe for the kind of undying love my brother has to his blankie is satin. My creative contribution to our quilting tradition is to add faux fur (washable, of course). I made several for nieces’ births, as an excuse for my grandmother to teach me all her quilting secrets, with pink satin on one side and animal print faux fur on the other.
I made one for my son’s birth, but my daughter won’t surrender it. The faux fur is a deep chocolate crushed velvet and the satin is black. The tactile experience is divine.
I have a quilt my two grandmothers made me together when I was born and ONLY I am allowed to use it. Even I only use it when I am sick or something because it is falling apart.
I’m also writing this under a simple quilt my grandmother (who has since died) made me that is also falling apart. It is like the last of her, and I will be so sad when it wears out. But I can hear her in my head saying, “Quilts are meant to be used, don’t let it rot in a chest somewhere!”
A lost art. I’ve quilted many an amazing design at wedding and baby showers (and good Mormon girl I am, I even have my very own quilting frame), but I see less and less of it.
He looks so sweet with the ‘passie’! I miss that!
Lovely post, Tracee. Thanks for sharing. I made little quilts (blankies) for both my grandchildren. My grandmother made full size quilts for each of hers. In fact, I still have the one Nanny made for me, although it’s well worn and well loved. My grandson’s is so worn, it’s almost a new blanket because my daughter has sewn patches over the holes.
I have one from my great grandmother – but the material is basically disintegrating – is there any help for that?
If the material is disintegrating you I think you have to put it away. If it’s just the thread then you can restitch it.
I’ve seen where people will frame them as wallart when they become to fragile to use.
That’s an idea. I still love the feeling of a quilt. It’s heavy but cool at the same time. We used to make pallets in the floor with them and watch cartoons..