Book Review: Happy Adoption Day
This week marks the week that we traveled to Russia, three years ago. Can you believe that? It is hard for me to believe because we have encountered so much and everything in our lives has changed.
We don’t often talk with AJ about his adoption because it brings up memories for him that are very hard for him to process. We do talk to him about where he is from and we talk to him a little about Russia and the Desky Dom (orphanage) but we never actually talk with him about his birth mother or the actual process of adoption because he just does not understand it.
He gets very upset, angry, and violent with us because he does not understand that there is another person out there that is his mother (remember that his cognitive level is probably that of a 2.5 year old and he is just now starting to grasp simple things like language).
We used to read a lot of adoption books to him and talk to him a lot about his adoption and we saw the effect it was having on him…separation anxiety, trauma, and grief. We stopped and allowed him time just to adjust to life. This year, around his adoption day I want to start introducing some books again to see if he understands the idea and process of adoption.
One of the books I want to start with is Happy Adoption Day!
From Publisher’s Weekly: The noted children’s singer/songwriter McCutcheon created this original song for those who might like to mark a special anniversary in their family’s life?adoption day. His thoughtful lyrics (the score is included, of course) emphasize the joy and wonder of the event?”Out of a world so tattered and torn,/ You came to our house on that wonderful morn/ And all of a sudden this family was born”? and there’s a rousing chorus just right for a festive party. In a move sure to accommodate many adoptive families, Paschkis (So Sleepy/Wide Awake) pictures the parents as white and the baby as Asian. Her gouache illustrations have a strong hint of traditional Scandinavian folk art, updated by bold color combinations, and they lend themselves particularly well to the multi-ethnic cast of friends and family with which she peoples each page. For a pleasingly themed read-aloud or gift, pair this volume with Jamie Lee Curtis and Laura Cornell’s equally merry Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born.
You migth want to check and see how adoptees feel about the onus put on them by being “chosen” and/or having this day “celebrated.”
Remember your gain represents a tragedy and a loss for your child and his fmaily.
A tiny sampling of adoptee feelings can be found in the comments to this blog post:
http://tinyurl.com/69lbz9
First, I don’t consider him chosen.
Second, why shouldn’t I celebrate his adoption day? It is the day we became a family. Birth families do it all the time.
Please see
http://about-orphans.blogspot.com
as it features professional’s insights into this complex and sensitive issue.
Many thanks.