Burst That Bubble…

Are you an “oldtimer?” Did you happen to see this post? It may be time for a new rule here (j/k) – if you’re a newcomer and you come here, you have to bring an “oldtimer” with you.

Steve T. from Ronkonkoma, who was eventually added to my personal list of friends, wasn’t one in the beginning! It happened at the beginners meeting at the Blue Point Group one Sat. night 16 years ago. Steve was the guest speaker and I was an arrogant, “intelligent,” newcomer. So smart in fact, that during the feedback I had my hand up and Steve “entertained” me.

Once I was finished spewing my intelligence over the room, Steve paused momentarily, then thoughtfully, looked straight at me and, oh horror, angrily, sarcastically, said to me “Oh, sounds like you have all the answers!”

I’m having what some might call “misty moments” I suppose – I saw in an AA forum yesterday where an “oldtimer” was romanticizing the old meetings with the oldtimers that taught him. I’m feeling the same way.

I’m not a believer in what I call “baby-sitting” AA. Folks who have difficulty with staying sober get pats on the back and sympathy and soft-talk with phony spiritual voices when they darn near kill themselves. Those that were caring enough of me burst my ego bubble because it needed to be burst! These twelve steps are all about ego deflation, not “awww, I’m so sorry for you, it’ll get better, don’t worry.”

Rant almost over – where does this stuff come from? What book? Please, tell me – no, please don’t. I don’t want to believe “that” stuff will work for me…

A Sober, Clean Day To All,

Mark