Caring for parents and a sibling
My friend Slartibartfast is facing a dilemma, his parents are getting older, they live far away and they are full-time caregivers for his physically disabled brother.
When his brother took a fall, it really emphasized how much work is required, how his parents will manage it into their later years and when is the right time for him to step in and take over his brother’s care:
I think that deep down, all of us, parents and children, know that a day is coming when the two able-bodied sons are going to have to sit down with the parents and say, “No disrespect, but you’re going to have to let it go and let us take over”. But for now, we have instead, this uneasy silence where we sons know what we have to say, but we don’t say it.
I just finished reading a new book “MEMORY LESSONS” – by Jerald Winakur, a geriatrician. He eloquently and poetically describes the challenges faced not only taking care of the elderly, but also in taking care of his own seriously failing parents.
It explores both at home and institutional care, but does it in a very personal empathic way. As a psychologist who deals with the elderly and their families, I found this beautifully written and very helpful.
Dr. Charles Merrill
Dr. Merrill,
Thanks so much for your suggestion. I will certainly look for the book via interlibrary loan.
I would love to speak more with you about your thoughts regarding what might be going on in a caregiver and parent relationship.
Amy
Dear Ms. Jeanroy:
Yes. How can I be of help?
Dr. Charles Merrill