CLUE 5. How Does It Affect Your Personality?

Infatuation: causes a disorganizing and destructive effect on your personality. Infatuation makes you less effective, less efficient, less your real self. Infatuation is irresponsible and fails to consider the future consequences of today’s actions. In such a condition, you might well lose your head and do things you wouldn’t otherwise think of doing. You may even foul up your whole life.

One-sided love or infatuation and the PRINCIPLE OF LEAST INTEREST: in a one-sided romance, the partner who has the least interest in continuing the affair is able to control the other person. That’s because the one who is more involved has more at stake. No one should use another human being for selfish purposes, but people often do. E.g. a girl who doesn’t care much for a boy may keep him just to build up her ego to have someone care so much for her. Or for a convenience that she can always count on him for a date if nobody else asks her. She knows he’ll put up with shabby treatment because he’s so emotionally involved. Or the boy may demand more sexual favors than his girlfriend wants to give.

Real Love: has an organizing and a constructive effect on your personality. It brings out the best in you. There is an intense and satisfying feeling of greater self-realization and expression, as well as a feeling of having one’s own personality reinforced and strengthened and enriched. Love gives you new energy and ambition, and more interest in life. It is creative, brings an eagerness to grow, to improve, to work for worthy purposes and ideals. Love is associated with feelings of self-confidence, trust and security. Love lifted you to new levels of maturity and responsible action. When you love a person you make an effort to be more deserving of the beloved. You want your beloved to be proud of you, so you try harder. Life has more purpose. You make plans and save for the future. Life takes on new meaning, more sparkle.

What if you have loved and lost? You may have had a real love relationship that did not result in marriage. Perhaps one or both of you did not recognize at the time that it was real love. Or some tragedy may have robbed you of your beloved. In spite of the pain of loss, you still are likely to be a better person for having had love. You can better understand yourself and be better prepared for finding success in your future relationships. You will be more mature. You grew through your love experience, and that growth will not all wither away. Whatever happened, real love will have an organizing and constructive effect on your personality.