Communication and Connection

I got the book, The Law of Connection: the Science of Using NLP to Create Ideal Personal and Professional Relationships, by Michael J. Losier, author of The Law of Attraction, in the mail today. 

I’ve only been able to read the first few pages, but so far I’ve learned that good communication is affected by rapport, calibrating, and communication style. The way you relate to others has to do with your ability to recognize, understand, and get in-tune to another person’s way of communication.  I’m going to read the book this weekend and get back to you ASAP with a review.

I love my new boyfriend, but sometimes we run into communication issues. I think that a large part of this has to do with the limitations of our relationship – he’s in Colorado, I’m in California. We do most of our communicating on the phone. It’s easy to misunderstand someone when you can’t see their expression or body languageand it’s even easier to misunderstand them when you are texting and have absolutely no clues whatsoever to intent.

Throughout my last relationship, I found myself giving in a lot, just going along in an attempt to avoid an argument. It worked in a way – we only had about 3 actual arguments in a year and a half, but when I look back, I am frustrated with myself. I pushed a lot down and giving in didn’t always work out in the long run, because it led to resentment, on my part. (And serious dislike, at this point.)

I want my relationship with Mark to be the forever kind and that means I can’t just push things down, I have to sometimes argue my point. Sometimes more than once, because that’s the way things play out with him on occasion.

I have picked up a few things along the way and I’m going to pass them along in the hopes that they might help you.

*You don’t have to win. In fact if yelling is involved, you can pretty much guarantee that there will be no winner at all. (Hurt feelings=you both lose).
*Someone has to stay calm. You can’t both get wound up, even in the most stressful of situations (for example, when someone misses their flight).
*Don’t discuss important things through text. Seriously, I cannot stress this enough.

Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com