Could I Be A Cougar?
January 30, 2009 by Michelle Smith
Filed under Relationships
This morning I checked my Plenty of Fish account and I had two emails in there. One from a young man of 24. I am 42. It said something along the lines of, “Great pics. What’s up?”
Well, young man, I am reading my messages while I wait for my new son, Greg, (I inherited a teenager a few weeks back) to come out here so that I can give him a ride to school.
I thought about various number-related comparisons, like…. I am 18 years older than he is. My son, Max, is 18, so I’m an entire Max’s lifetime older than he is. Greg is almost 18, as well, so can you see how this is sort of creepy to me?
Women do this, I know that they do, and with even younger men. I have a good friend who sometimes spends time with a younger man and I encourage her to do so, because they enjoy the time that they spend together. When I think of the two of them, it seems very “normal.” Why does it feel so odd or wrong for me to even think about doing the same thing?
I wonder if the reason I don’t want to do that – Cougar it up – is because I’m lazy. If I was with a young man I’d need to be in better shape, I’d worry about lighting or better yet, stay in the dark. What would I talk to him about? Would he call me, “dude?” Or Mrs. Smith? Okay, now I’m just being ridiculous.
Part of me wants to respond. I am curious why this boy contacted me. What would be the harm in saying hello? This reminds me of another friend who is in her 20s, the latter part of her 20s, and she’s attracted to a man who is….I think 23 or 24. She feels odd about the age difference and she’s still in the same decade.
What would you do if a much younger man (or woman, if you’re a man) contacted you? What is your age cut-off? A 5 year difference? A 10 year difference? I’d really like some feedback if you’ve got the time.
24? Hmmm. I guess it depends on what YOU would hope for from a guy that’s 24. I can’t imagine that a 24 y.o. man is looking for a long-term relationship with a 42 y.o. woman (you never know though!), but it doesn’t mean it couldn’t be beneficial to both of you.
I was just curious what he’d have to say. It was very little. I don’t think that I have an interest in someone who is just starting out. He hasn’t had kids. I think that’s the biggest thing for me. I want a guy with some grey hair who is also a parent.
He’s 23. Just turned 23. And apparently I’m willing to date someone who is five + years younger than me because it looks like I’m going for it.
But 24 and 42? I’m not going to say it would never work, but I completely understand your feelings on that one.
Yay!! I take it that means the Super Bowl party went well!
I think one of the biggest factor in that large of an age range is where each of the two people are at in their lives. Kids are a major factor. I truly feel that a guy that is in his 20’s needs to go experience life before he settles down. Seriously, I remember when I was 20 and was out having fun–free spirit. I think young guys do like older women because we are over the game playing. Do I think most of them want a serious relationship. No! They just want a buddy.
Thanks, Jackie, for your input.