Dating Idea: Double Date with Mum

After reading this article over at NY Times, I got to think about double dating with my mum. Hep. Before you cringe at the idea, better hear me out.

Before anything else, I’d like to state that my mum is a widow.

We all know that dating is something personal and private. The last thing we’d ever want to happen is to have parents prying in this part of our lives. I mean, I have to admit that before I would allow a guy to meet any member of my family, I’m going to make sure that what I have with him is real and serious. So, yea, I had initially cringed at the thought of double dating with my mum.

What changed my mind? Well, I allowed myself to dwell on certain things about dating and relationships.

I know for a fact that my mum would want me to end up with a good man. Of course, we all know what that means, right? He has to be stable, responsible and has a good heart. She would want me crying over someone who couldn’t see the value of relationships and, of course, her daughter’s value.

In turn, if my mum chooses to consider having a new man in her life, I would be the same way. I would want to be sure that she ends up with a man who will not just take advantage of my mum’s good nature. One who wouldn’t just waste her time and make her unhappy in the remaining years of her life. She deserves to experience the fullness of life till the end.

So, this brings me to the idea of double dating. Of course, first dates should be kept solo. I’m referring to the stage when our dating relationships are at a more stable and serious kind. This way, we can somewhat share in each other’s relationships. It would be fun and novel. We would both get to know each other’s partners in a deeper level. And we’d be able to establish accountability for each other’s well-being.

The article had shared a book that talks about this sort of thing:

“Meddling, however — the free advice without the consequences — ah, meddling is a delight! Where responsibility tires, meddling amuses and invigorates. Normally, it is the reward of the aged parents of grown children. But in the breezy, sweet memoir “Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating With My Dad,” Bob Morris, who formerly wrote the Age of Dissonance column for this newspaper’s Sunday Styles section, describes a rare inversion: getting the opportunity to meddle in the love life of his 80-year-old father, Joe, when he begins dating again after the death of Morris’s mother.” — JAMES PONIEWOZIK, The New York Times

ASSISTED LOVING
True Tales of Double Dating With My Dad.
By Bob Morris.
288 pp. Harper/HarperCollins Publishers. $24.95.

Anyway, I’m merely toying with the idea. I’m not sure if it’ll actually work out but I reckon it’s worth the shot. The article inspired me to think about how my mum and I can be more present in each others’ lives. We are, after all, all that we have. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who can’t accept her in his life and I wouldn’t want her to end up with someone who takes her away from me.

Ah, well. Just thinking.

Your cringing may now commence. Heh.