DeMarcus Ware Celebrates First Father’s Day
After suffering two miscarriages and one stillborn delivery, DeMarcus Ware of the Dallas Cowboys and his wife, Taniqua, decided that adoption was a better choice for them.
Their first child, Omar, was stillborn. During a routine ultrasound they learned that he had no kidneys and did not stand any chance of surviving so Taniqua was asked to deliver him, stillborn. In honor of him Ware gave pendants to relatives. They were inscribed with his birth-date and his footprint.
Taniqua had two other pregnancies but both ended in miscarriages. The second was conceived through a fertility specialist.
But the Wares never gave up hope for a child. In fact, fate intervened when Ware was on personal leave. A local pastor knew a woman who was relinquishing her baby, who was born on February 29.
The couple was matched with the birth mother and Marley, named after Bob Marley, was adopted.
There are gorgeous pictures from the NY Times here.
Celebrity Baby Blog also has an article.
I am supportive of interracial and intercultural adoptions and am happy for the couple’s good fortune. However, given the information you touched on in your blog of June 14th, 2008, “Transracial Adoption at its Best”, it is interesting to note that they seem to have adopted a child who is not predominantly their race, when there are so many black children without parents.
I would have seen this as a golden opportunity for them to be role models for other blacks by adopting a black baby. I have been told by more than one adoption agency professional that even black couples prefer lighter skinned children, and some couples will not accept referrals of children darker than themselves.
I hope they will consider fostering and/or adopting darker skinned children (or a rainbow of children!) in the future, as there are so many who are in need of strong, successful, well balanced role models who can lead them by example instead of theory and observation.
I should have included that this problem of role models is not exclusive to adoption or fostering, but is epidemic in black families.
I was waiting for someone to pick up on that and I totally agree. But, on the other hand, perhaps this was the first opportunity they had and they took it. I know that that was our situation this time around. ie: we put our name in the pot for both domestic and international and international came up first. The race did not matter to us.
So, to play devil’s advocate, it could have been one of those situations…race did not matter and they were matched with their child. It also does not sound as if they used a traditional agency but a lawyer who facilitated the adoption because they knew the birth mother.
But, I do agree, I do hope they take that into consideration.
I would have to agree with both of you. From the article, I took more from it that the Ware’s kind of “happened upon” an adoption option and were fortunate enough to handle things privately. We, too, threw our “hats in” for both options – domestic and international. The international option came to us first also when we were matched with our son. The second time around we did choose the same country for the adoption of our daughter. Selfishly, I suppose, because we wanted to (a) have another child in our family that we could not add biologically, but moreso (b) we wanted our son to have a sibling of the same birth culture. Thus, Guatemala.
I do hope the Wares have the opportunity to adopt again, and it would be nice of them to consider a domestic adoption of an African American child. However, if their first option comes to them again as a Caucasian child or child of any other race, then I wish them the best no matter the circumstances.
I do especially agree, however, that good, strong role models are needed in the African American community, and they have a great opportunity here.
The sad part is people are SPECULATING on the race of this little girl. The article never mentioned the race of this baby. The reporter knew but obviously while interviewing the Ware’s he saw the race of this baby was not important to them. I know the race of the baby but I would never tell. It’s not important! A child was helped and another one will be also. I think I will let all these blogs continue to make fools of themselves and you will see when this child is older and her father is being inducted into the Hall of Fame, there will no be a stupid a** blog in site!
Friend,
Thank you for brining that up…that race was not important to them! I think that is the most important thing about this adoption, other than the fact that a child was adopted, of course.
Like I stated in the comments before, I think that an opportunity presented itself and they took it, not looking at race…and I think that most adoptive parents do that. We have and we have a child joining our family from Guatemala this fall. We could have chosen to go back to Russia for a white baby or could have stuck with domestic until a white baby came up but we did not care.
I don’t think I have made a fool of myself here because I did not even mention the race in the original post but I let a reader bring it up, commented back, played devil’s advocate, and even defended them for their decision.
I do think I have been pretty fair to them and I respect and honor their decision. I think what they have done is absolutely beautiful and I hope they continue to welcome children, no matter what race, into their family.
Marcie